Love God, Love People, Love life
heartofGod church
D10
Dream Teamer
usher!!
2/o'03
alvina
amanda tan
amanda voon
amelia
audrey
beryl
cEdaR gUiDeS
daryl-ajc
dean
dexter
freddy
emmeline
gurvin
heem mei
huiying
jamie
jiayi
jonathan
joycelyn
kushina
mabel
marion
priska
shaomin
sharon
suhui
tracy
tzeyin
wan ting
weiling
xavier
xianny
yolanda
2/o'03
alvina
amanda tan
amanda voon
amelia
audrey
beryl
cEdaR gUiDeS
daryl-ajc
dean
dexter
freddy
emmeline
gurvin
heem mei
huiying
jamie
jiayi
jonathan
joycelyn
kushina
mabel
marion
priska
shaomin
sharon
suhui
tracy
tzeyin
wan ting
weiling
xavier
xianny
yolanda
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
March 2005
April 2005
September 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
July 2010
October 2010
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
March 2005
April 2005
September 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
July 2010
October 2010
Sunday, December 31, 2006
actually all i wanted is to hv a quiet new yr countdown. w so many things that happened, i just wish to spend time w my own close friends and slack away and chat and gossip and marvel the wonders of life.
But this is not the case...
I am gg to celebrate countdown with this awesome party at church. It is cool.
Well, God has other plans for me this year.
I really want to enjoy myself. =)
I just realise relationships around me are breaking up. n i thot they were ppl who will last forever,with bf so sweet and everything.
Maybe,God trying to teach me today.
I read the article on Straits Times today "A christian feel at mosque"
Somehow, i feel God's presence and i just keep praising Him (despite my mom said my singing is horrible)
No new year resolution because my heart has changed ever I met Him! =)
But this is not the case...
I am gg to celebrate countdown with this awesome party at church. It is cool.
Well, God has other plans for me this year.
I really want to enjoy myself. =)
I just realise relationships around me are breaking up. n i thot they were ppl who will last forever,with bf so sweet and everything.
Maybe,God trying to teach me today.
I read the article on Straits Times today "A christian feel at mosque"
Somehow, i feel God's presence and i just keep praising Him (despite my mom said my singing is horrible)
No new year resolution because my heart has changed ever I met Him! =)
Saturday, December 30, 2006
The so called primary school gathering today: it turned out to be 5 of us. 4 guys and me, 1 girl. Pathetic huh? Lol.. ok la I guess. Just want to see how everyone is doing now. Wow! The guys have grown up more mature.. haha.. Oops that wasn’t mean to be an insult. I think it was really cool to see people who once sat in the same classroom as you before, people who have once entered in your life journey. Sometimes, Singaporeans are rushing too fast ahead instead of looking back. Kinda of sad. I learnt a few stuff from the guys today, stuff of poly and sec sch which I never experience before, which sounded fun and cool. Maybe this gap between JC, poly and ITE is really great which breeds elitism.
I still can remember things exactly a year ago. It seemed so close, it seemed as if I were going through it again but I know it is different. I do not know why, I never feel this sensation before, something that feels so close.
Anyway, I was thinking a year ago that I am going to review New Year resolutions a year from then. Here is my this year resolutions:
1>I'll change my perspectives.i realize no matter how bad that thing is.as long as I'm happy.it'll b fine
haha…oh chew. I only kept this resolution for 1st 3 mths.haha.shud hv keep this resolution longer.haha.
2>I'll be patient n not lose my temper easily.(most likely unfulfilled)
I'm so glad I added the most likely unfulfilled part cuz this is the case especially with the fact that I nearly killed my mom and I meant it literally.
3>spend more time with grandma
sigh..i always nv fulfill this. must I really learn the mistake then I will know how to treasure it
4>learn to do hsehold chores
haha..learning and doing it are different thing cuz I did learn how to wash dishes but how many of us know some things are meant to be done not learnt. Haha. Lousy me. Boo.
5>I'll not tell ppl my bday
I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF THAT I KEPT AT LEAST ONE RESOLUTION!! HAHA
6>I'm gg on a healthy way of diet.
somehow somewhere my mindset began to change into I shud eat as much as I can cuz life is too short. Haha.
7>I'll live each day the fullest
hees..i din.i must admit I think of commit suicide b4..haha.
8>I'll do things that I fear the most.
Haha..i did which is to join hockey and then I quit..lol
Pastor said before new year resolutions never works. Haha. What it is important is the change in the heart. I totally agree. =)
Friday, December 29, 2006
lol..just in case u all wondering the entry posted b4 this entry was half-written at my bestie hse so she kinda of completed for me by saying 'hello jerlyn'.
i was feeling insecure for a transisent period because of some stuff. i was thinking of myself i hv to go thru all those shit again once sch reopens; n how i wish sch nv reopens.
but God put words in gurvin's mouth, she made me realise that i do not have all the time in the world and that my time is divided between my grandma, my besties(gong,tty,emm,xiany,suhui etc) and church. i hv absolutely no time for other crap in sch.haha.yup.so whats the pt of feeling insecure.
i just feel like doing wad i wan to do.who cares?
wow..i had really great fun in last yr countdown.i felt like i was a child. i can rem exactly wad happen me and besties went to playgrd and play till like woah..haha.
i think this yr will b diff w more ppl.but somehow i noe wad tty wants.just to spend time w besties cuz i wont get to see them as much as i do w churchmates.
i was feeling insecure for a transisent period because of some stuff. i was thinking of myself i hv to go thru all those shit again once sch reopens; n how i wish sch nv reopens.
but God put words in gurvin's mouth, she made me realise that i do not have all the time in the world and that my time is divided between my grandma, my besties(gong,tty,emm,xiany,suhui etc) and church. i hv absolutely no time for other crap in sch.haha.yup.so whats the pt of feeling insecure.
i just feel like doing wad i wan to do.who cares?
wow..i had really great fun in last yr countdown.i felt like i was a child. i can rem exactly wad happen me and besties went to playgrd and play till like woah..haha.
i think this yr will b diff w more ppl.but somehow i noe wad tty wants.just to spend time w besties cuz i wont get to see them as much as i do w churchmates.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
haHA...now at gong hse..n she's tryin to kill me w her cooking.haha.
some things that occur have affirmed in my heart that bgr is nth but feelings(n a r/s based on feelings will nv last) and superficiality.but
suppose to be four of us todAY but ended 2 of us again..oh wells..lol.sad i must admit
some things that occur have affirmed in my heart that bgr is nth but feelings(n a r/s based on feelings will nv last) and superficiality.but
suppose to be four of us todAY but ended 2 of us again..oh wells..lol.sad i must admit
HELLO JERLYN!
Taiwan earthquake: while many of us Singaporeans are complaining how slow the internet connection( for those who doesn’t know about it the taiwan earthquake has affected the internet connection world wide.), there are people dying across the straits. Yet, many of us still feel indifferent despite those stories of bravery, of love, of courage, of selflessness occur.
One typical story: Under the ruins, a mother sheltered her twins sons and died while the twins survived.
This is what it really means by love really transcends everything.
The song ‘I believe’ just keep ringing in my head.
There is this love I cannot explain resides in me.
I just keep praising God.
Sometimes, none can be explained why God do stuff that way.
But, God still loves you no matter what.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
One typical story: Under the ruins, a mother sheltered her twins sons and died while the twins survived.
This is what it really means by love really transcends everything.
The song ‘I believe’ just keep ringing in my head.
There is this love I cannot explain resides in me.
I just keep praising God.
Sometimes, none can be explained why God do stuff that way.
But, God still loves you no matter what.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Well..i am going to blog about xmas. Haha.this xmas is really cool and different and despite some bad stuff that occurs but I think this year xmas bring out a whole new meaning for me.
There are things I hv to admit. Firstly, I have been over-sensitive and that I get foul tempered easily. Moreover, I wasn’t feeling any spiritual growth. To be precise, this whole people work thing aint that easy and it becomes like a responsibility for me than a learning process. But I learnt a lot. I learnt to be patient. I learnt to trust and depend on God. I haven get the gist of it and I am still learning and I love it despite all the frustration cuz I feel different after it.
James 1:2-3
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
Love this verse! =)!
Xmas eve: I was on usher. It was really fun to usher great crowd. Be at the door with elysia. =). The whole thing is different and it is surprising people are so nice. Haha..not that my team is not nice. It is just that my first impression I had on usher which was the steamboat incident was just very bad. Haha. Honestly, I hated usher after that and I was wondering why cherie said it was fun. Haha. I know lots of ppl after xmas eve usher in terms of quality and quantity. Oh haha.i must add this. marcus is the funniest person I ever knew on earth. Haha.
Xmas day:
Morning-met up w dean and he believed junhao is my brother.lol. and I passed by xingying and xingying apparently asked dean the person who was with me (junhao) is it a gurl or guy. Oh well. My dear brother how? haha. Junhao did magic tricks.haha and I din manage to persuade dean to church.
Afternoon-met up junhao frenz.interesting ppl lol.but I was damn rude la.keep doing my own stuff and erm nv interact. Then met up w toy and xina. Haha it was great fun celebrating xmas w u guys! Love ya loads =)! Toy was damn funny.cuz her eyes was so small and I tried putting mascara onto her and I kept poking her.lol. haha. Talking to them is so cute and funny la. Haha. I think they got a shock when they saw how my church starts. Lol. But they were very gd audience. Haha. Then after went kfc with cg n other d zone ppl. So un in kfc.talk and play and yo yo is so cute.lol.my bro so..oh wells. Let just say I see him prank on ppl from 9am-9pm.haha. he needs to increase his magic tricks.lol.
I had great fun. So much fun that I missed agnes outing today. it was a cool outing. She’s become really open and easier to talk to and I so absolutely agree that person is a bitch.lol. I think wad is amazing is that you became open. Cuz the first key is openness and openness breeds openness. I cant give u the perfect ans but I dun intend to do that either cuz I aint perfect. If u think u r still stubborn., actually you are not, you fail to realize you move on to the next level liao. Haha. Christian walk aint easy baby! =)
I missed maths tuition today. boo. Haha. Lousy me.
God, I want to do it for You, not do it as a job.
There are things I hv to admit. Firstly, I have been over-sensitive and that I get foul tempered easily. Moreover, I wasn’t feeling any spiritual growth. To be precise, this whole people work thing aint that easy and it becomes like a responsibility for me than a learning process. But I learnt a lot. I learnt to be patient. I learnt to trust and depend on God. I haven get the gist of it and I am still learning and I love it despite all the frustration cuz I feel different after it.
James 1:2-3
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
Love this verse! =)!
Xmas eve: I was on usher. It was really fun to usher great crowd. Be at the door with elysia. =). The whole thing is different and it is surprising people are so nice. Haha..not that my team is not nice. It is just that my first impression I had on usher which was the steamboat incident was just very bad. Haha. Honestly, I hated usher after that and I was wondering why cherie said it was fun. Haha. I know lots of ppl after xmas eve usher in terms of quality and quantity. Oh haha.i must add this. marcus is the funniest person I ever knew on earth. Haha.
Xmas day:
Morning-met up w dean and he believed junhao is my brother.lol. and I passed by xingying and xingying apparently asked dean the person who was with me (junhao) is it a gurl or guy. Oh well. My dear brother how? haha. Junhao did magic tricks.haha and I din manage to persuade dean to church.
Afternoon-met up junhao frenz.interesting ppl lol.but I was damn rude la.keep doing my own stuff and erm nv interact. Then met up w toy and xina. Haha it was great fun celebrating xmas w u guys! Love ya loads =)! Toy was damn funny.cuz her eyes was so small and I tried putting mascara onto her and I kept poking her.lol. haha. Talking to them is so cute and funny la. Haha. I think they got a shock when they saw how my church starts. Lol. But they were very gd audience. Haha. Then after went kfc with cg n other d zone ppl. So un in kfc.talk and play and yo yo is so cute.lol.my bro so..oh wells. Let just say I see him prank on ppl from 9am-9pm.haha. he needs to increase his magic tricks.lol.
I had great fun. So much fun that I missed agnes outing today. it was a cool outing. She’s become really open and easier to talk to and I so absolutely agree that person is a bitch.lol. I think wad is amazing is that you became open. Cuz the first key is openness and openness breeds openness. I cant give u the perfect ans but I dun intend to do that either cuz I aint perfect. If u think u r still stubborn., actually you are not, you fail to realize you move on to the next level liao. Haha. Christian walk aint easy baby! =)
I missed maths tuition today. boo. Haha. Lousy me.
God, I want to do it for You, not do it as a job.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
i am just freakingly piss.goodness me. i wan a good shopping trip where i can get great stuff which can satisfy both my mom and ah ma,gosh fo far i bought 2 tops for casual wear. n guess wad?i get scolding every single day for anyhow buy clothes.i am damn freakingly piss.i am not their barbie doll.can they see.FREAK.this is getting on my nerves.n i am running out of $.wadever.piss piss piss piss piss piss.yea that wad i am feeling now.i dun care.i just wan to get that skirt and a pink top.n i dun care wad u all think.take it, leave it.i am wearing for cny.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
People may wonder why I do the thing nowdays
I also keep questioning my heart
But true life accounts like this
warms my heart again and again.
And the story goes like this:
There was a prostitute,
Who was picked by a
24hour church.
Despite a better change of environment
For more people love her
More than the physical side,
Yet her attitude remains rude
And her heart is so hardened.
Yet, everyone still showers their love unconditionally.
But how many of us know that,
If you keep loving
And the love is not received back from the subject,
You will get frustrated.
And that is exactly what the pastor felt
To the point
He blurt out
Why are you like that?
The girl then replied; years ago
When I was pregnant by an unknown man
I decided to keep the baby.
Right after birth, I saw the child
And I told myself
I am going to love the baby
With all that I have
With all that I am
For no one ever showers me true love.
Just then her pimp came in,
And with a gun
He shot the baby to death
And make her not being able
To EVER give birth in her entire life again.
Imagine her saturated pain and sorrow.
All that she ever loves is gone
All that she ever knows about love is gone.
The pastor cried with the girl.
There were no words that can compensate.
No one, not even I can describe it well.
May be you do not feel any emotions.
U got to realize some things
Are never meant to be told
But meant to be felt.
Just imagine your child, your love
Then your anguish and that scars.
I don’t know why
Call it maternal instinct (hey I am not pregnant or wad yet alright)
Something strong just kicks in my heart
And it says, this is what I am living for
Saving those lost souls
Saving those hurts
Saving those pains
Knowing well that Christ heal them all.
Later in the story, the prostitute was saved and she has since then earnestly going out to help more prostitutes who were like her once upon a time.
I am not surprised by the ending.
I am tired and I do not wish to blog but I felt this could impact someone’s life today.
I also keep questioning my heart
But true life accounts like this
warms my heart again and again.
And the story goes like this:
There was a prostitute,
Who was picked by a
24hour church.
Despite a better change of environment
For more people love her
More than the physical side,
Yet her attitude remains rude
And her heart is so hardened.
Yet, everyone still showers their love unconditionally.
But how many of us know that,
If you keep loving
And the love is not received back from the subject,
You will get frustrated.
And that is exactly what the pastor felt
To the point
He blurt out
Why are you like that?
The girl then replied; years ago
When I was pregnant by an unknown man
I decided to keep the baby.
Right after birth, I saw the child
And I told myself
I am going to love the baby
With all that I have
With all that I am
For no one ever showers me true love.
Just then her pimp came in,
And with a gun
He shot the baby to death
And make her not being able
To EVER give birth in her entire life again.
Imagine her saturated pain and sorrow.
All that she ever loves is gone
All that she ever knows about love is gone.
The pastor cried with the girl.
There were no words that can compensate.
No one, not even I can describe it well.
May be you do not feel any emotions.
U got to realize some things
Are never meant to be told
But meant to be felt.
Just imagine your child, your love
Then your anguish and that scars.
I don’t know why
Call it maternal instinct (hey I am not pregnant or wad yet alright)
Something strong just kicks in my heart
And it says, this is what I am living for
Saving those lost souls
Saving those hurts
Saving those pains
Knowing well that Christ heal them all.
Later in the story, the prostitute was saved and she has since then earnestly going out to help more prostitutes who were like her once upon a time.
I am not surprised by the ending.
I am tired and I do not wish to blog but I felt this could impact someone’s life today.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Because I so love you
Because I so want you to enjoy the true happiness I feel right now
Because I want you to finally know the Real Cause worth championing for
Because I want to love you just like God has so loved you that it is you who cannot feel Him not Him who could not feel you
Because I treasure you
Because I do not want people to think Christianity are like...
Thousand of reasons why I do the things I do is because of the root word: LOVE in its purified and true meaning.
I so wish people will give You one last chance just like I did.
I made a right decision on that day.
Because I so want you to enjoy the true happiness I feel right now
Because I want you to finally know the Real Cause worth championing for
Because I want to love you just like God has so loved you that it is you who cannot feel Him not Him who could not feel you
Because I treasure you
Because I do not want people to think Christianity are like...
Thousand of reasons why I do the things I do is because of the root word: LOVE in its purified and true meaning.
I so wish people will give You one last chance just like I did.
I made a right decision on that day.
Monday, December 11, 2006
watched a debate on channel U that got quite heated and the topic is: is man and woman finally equal?
i tell you how i truly feel. i am totally disgusted by the topic.how on the earth can you measure equity between man and woman when we are different in the first place? and guess what the guy speakers obviously stand up for his own gender saying it is still a male-dominated world and i conclude from their arguements that they are measuring based on the things of the world-riches,success etc. i tell you what i am even more disgusted when this public sent in an sms and obviously a guy said that there are the laws protecting the woman but there are no laws protecting the man,the government plz save the man species(directly translated from the chinese sms i saw on tv)oh my goodness.plz.u just threw ur face and ur gender right down.can you dun be so whiny?still say you are a guy.gracious me.
and suddenly sth just struck me why must gurls always compete with the guys so that we can be equal or better? i remember what my tuition teacher said before there is always this sex ratio in certain faculties not because we are lousier but because in times of need, our maternal instinct will keep in;would u rather be a famous surgeon or a good mom when you know u cannot divide your time to both.i tell you most gurls pick the latter because God created that way. so there is no point arguing with these egoistic men out there who only measure ppl by the world standards, simply because we are differenly.since our starting fields are different, why bother to compete which is Man's worst habit.
Stop competing,start excelling..sth which i always rem what ms leong showed us in a video just b4 o's =)!~
i tell you how i truly feel. i am totally disgusted by the topic.how on the earth can you measure equity between man and woman when we are different in the first place? and guess what the guy speakers obviously stand up for his own gender saying it is still a male-dominated world and i conclude from their arguements that they are measuring based on the things of the world-riches,success etc. i tell you what i am even more disgusted when this public sent in an sms and obviously a guy said that there are the laws protecting the woman but there are no laws protecting the man,the government plz save the man species(directly translated from the chinese sms i saw on tv)oh my goodness.plz.u just threw ur face and ur gender right down.can you dun be so whiny?still say you are a guy.gracious me.
and suddenly sth just struck me why must gurls always compete with the guys so that we can be equal or better? i remember what my tuition teacher said before there is always this sex ratio in certain faculties not because we are lousier but because in times of need, our maternal instinct will keep in;would u rather be a famous surgeon or a good mom when you know u cannot divide your time to both.i tell you most gurls pick the latter because God created that way. so there is no point arguing with these egoistic men out there who only measure ppl by the world standards, simply because we are differenly.since our starting fields are different, why bother to compete which is Man's worst habit.
Stop competing,start excelling..sth which i always rem what ms leong showed us in a video just b4 o's =)!~
I watched a so-called documentary last night it was about this couple preparation for wedding. I could not help it but frowned upon their extravaganza; goodness me. They spent US$6000 on A wedding gown. Not only that, just by mere looking at the setting, you know it is a lavish wedding. I know every person on this earth dreamt of a so called perfect wedding but hello is it worth it? Just for a day? Just for framing up purpose? A perfect wedding means much more that that. In fact, marriage truly starts after the wedding itself.
I realize that my mother is so worldly that I could not stand it. All she ever dreams of is riches, gold and being a tai-tai. Due to the fact that she did not get those stuffs, she blames it on bad luck and having bad destiny. Never mind, what keeps me going is that I see you being saved by Christ and that you will work in His house instead of keep dreaming in you own house.
And I really want to tell you(mom) this that I DO NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND! Goodness, my dear mom, stop being paranoid yea? *rolling my eyes* I feel like yelling at you this it is as if u and papa divorce did nothing to hurt me so bad emotionally; so do you think that I will want to look for love in that way. Don't you think I am not cynical of love anymore? Hear my sarcasm please.
Pastor said that there are three types of G that prevent us from fully devoting to God. They are
i) Glory
ii) Gold (Finances)
iii) Guys/Girls (Relationships)
I think they are really summarized in these 3 forms. Funny isn't these 3 words summaries what the entire world is lusting for? Yea, but I am no longer interested in them anymore because God's glory is better, God's treasures worth more and God's love is more fulfilling than those BGRs. =). It is a no wonder to my mind is only preoccupied by Him. And, there is this song that keeps flooding on my mind.
"You mean everything to me
You’re the world that never be
Your Name raise in my heart
You all that I depend on."
I am just thinking how many people will be impacted by my blog each day? I feel there is someone out there being impacted and the reason I keep blogging is for her or maybe him?
I realize that my mother is so worldly that I could not stand it. All she ever dreams of is riches, gold and being a tai-tai. Due to the fact that she did not get those stuffs, she blames it on bad luck and having bad destiny. Never mind, what keeps me going is that I see you being saved by Christ and that you will work in His house instead of keep dreaming in you own house.
And I really want to tell you(mom) this that I DO NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND! Goodness, my dear mom, stop being paranoid yea? *rolling my eyes* I feel like yelling at you this it is as if u and papa divorce did nothing to hurt me so bad emotionally; so do you think that I will want to look for love in that way. Don't you think I am not cynical of love anymore? Hear my sarcasm please.
Pastor said that there are three types of G that prevent us from fully devoting to God. They are
i) Glory
ii) Gold (Finances)
iii) Guys/Girls (Relationships)
I think they are really summarized in these 3 forms. Funny isn't these 3 words summaries what the entire world is lusting for? Yea, but I am no longer interested in them anymore because God's glory is better, God's treasures worth more and God's love is more fulfilling than those BGRs. =). It is a no wonder to my mind is only preoccupied by Him. And, there is this song that keeps flooding on my mind.
"You mean everything to me
You’re the world that never be
Your Name raise in my heart
You all that I depend on."
I am just thinking how many people will be impacted by my blog each day? I feel there is someone out there being impacted and the reason I keep blogging is for her or maybe him?
Saturday, December 09, 2006
God is indeed a great, fabulous and most zesty God. Just as I was about to think I need to strike a balance in my life; my time in fact to be divided equally between church and non-church activities. Just as I was about to ponder am I spending too much time on church and I can see displeasure rising in my family and non-Christians friends( hey there I have nothing against that yea I really understand how my besties felt about not spending time with them), I am talking to toylyn, then all the worldly stuff came plaguing me. I was thinking my testimonial how how how? looking at her, I am sure her testimonial is definitely a wow compared to mine. In fact, I think I achieve nothing. Just then, a Voice within me said, "I will provide." Who knows Words from God means much more that those worldy stuff I cannot seem to give up. just as I further delve further into the conversation with toylyn, she makes me realize that without church I will not have a purpose in my life. My holidays will be not only boring and still, but I will just be lounging, feeling myself that emptiness I used to be inebriated with.
God, I believe in what You said. Trusting my future into Your Hands. I love VBS. It brought my spiritual level up another level. It made me learn and grow. =)!
God, I believe in what You said. Trusting my future into Your Hands. I love VBS. It brought my spiritual level up another level. It made me learn and grow. =)!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
I knew it was all over when I asked what happened to our date on the MSN and
You said something like, "I don’t know. Sorry I got to go. Good night. Hees."
And that's it, yanting, our friendship is over.
I was so angry but pastor how's words rang inside my head, "there will be better friends whom you can invest your time/energy/heart in like your church mates." And I guess it is true, no point wasting my time and every sms that I sent to you saying how much I miss you as it is after all pointless. I am not saying I am only investing my time in my church friends but people who deserve my invest will also be gong tty ah ma xiany agnes Amanda voon anna etc. you may call me an insecure freak but I definitely not this time round. I was just hoping we can just meet up and chat and reminiscent the so call good old days. But each time I ask you out it is either no reply or I cannot make it. Tell me am I really an insecure freak? Since orientation days are over, you have become a completely different person; you have long since turn from a friend to a stranger. There are always people whom I will drift apart given time but these true friends will always make an effort to meet up. But, definitely not you.
Pastor How had said we do not keep thinking of the good old days but instead look forward to the future for it is going to be even better. So instead of being the whiny and sad me, I think I will invest my time in working towards the good future. No more good old days; our friendship is over.
Gong, I love you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much for being my bestie for ages! =)!
You said something like, "I don’t know. Sorry I got to go. Good night. Hees."
And that's it, yanting, our friendship is over.
I was so angry but pastor how's words rang inside my head, "there will be better friends whom you can invest your time/energy/heart in like your church mates." And I guess it is true, no point wasting my time and every sms that I sent to you saying how much I miss you as it is after all pointless. I am not saying I am only investing my time in my church friends but people who deserve my invest will also be gong tty ah ma xiany agnes Amanda voon anna etc. you may call me an insecure freak but I definitely not this time round. I was just hoping we can just meet up and chat and reminiscent the so call good old days. But each time I ask you out it is either no reply or I cannot make it. Tell me am I really an insecure freak? Since orientation days are over, you have become a completely different person; you have long since turn from a friend to a stranger. There are always people whom I will drift apart given time but these true friends will always make an effort to meet up. But, definitely not you.
Pastor How had said we do not keep thinking of the good old days but instead look forward to the future for it is going to be even better. So instead of being the whiny and sad me, I think I will invest my time in working towards the good future. No more good old days; our friendship is over.
Gong, I love you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much for being my bestie for ages! =)!
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Wow wow wow. Okies I am feeling pretty emo now after finally completed the novel p.s. I love you by Cecelia ahern. Gosh I just love this book which is why despite the late hours I am still up and blogging about it. Actually it may sound like a boring book like how a woman get got on with her days but there is some magic in it and makes people crave for it and savour every moments of reading the book just like the lead actress savouring the moment of reading the letters by Gerry. I guess what Gerry did was really amazing and sweet and romantic and the change in Holly life was wow wow wow. If only I can change the ending, then I will put holly and Daniel together. Seriously, they ought to be together. I was piss they aint tgt. Haha. There are many moments which I could clearly be in sync with unlike most books. Most books, words that describe feeling are so fake that it is obvious they are made up. however, this book is really different. Every word that mentioned seemed like a live act and so real and jumping alive. The writer wrote so beautifully- the emotions surges, the jokes, the love.
Sigh. I just love the book. I am in love with Daniel and he and Laura shoudnt be tgt. It should be Holly and Daniel.Rahness.I sound like some primary school kid writing book review. Haha.
Sigh. I just love the book. I am in love with Daniel and he and Laura shoudnt be tgt. It should be Holly and Daniel.Rahness.I sound like some primary school kid writing book review. Haha.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
People with no vision will perish. That is what pastor how preached today. Today was really really wow wow wow! It is to give us all of us an ultimate vision and that is to be on fire for God. I know heart of God church people going to be different!! we are going to be people on fire!!!for God for Him!! i am starting to miss church! =)!
Love God! Love people! Love life! =)!
Love God! Love people! Love life! =)!
Then she would fall into days of depression; then finally built up the strength to br positive and to snap out of it for another few days. But the tiniest and simplest things would trigger off her tears again. That was her routine. It was a tiring process and most of the time she couldn’t be bothered battling with her mind. It was far stronger than her body.
Friends and families came and went; sometimes helping her with the tears, other times making her laugh. But even in her laughter there was something missing. She never seemed to be truly happy; she just seemed to be passing time till she waited for something else. She was tired of just existing; she wanted to live. But what was the point in living when there was no life in it. These questions went through her mind over and over again till she reached the point of not wanting to wake up from her dreams that felt so real.
Adapted from P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern
If there were any words to describe my periods of depression, there will then be it. I thought there were no words to describe my feelings then until I saw this verse from the book and I realize it struck a chord in me. Thank God I have already found my purpose in life so that I do not feel that empty as I used to be.
Friends and families came and went; sometimes helping her with the tears, other times making her laugh. But even in her laughter there was something missing. She never seemed to be truly happy; she just seemed to be passing time till she waited for something else. She was tired of just existing; she wanted to live. But what was the point in living when there was no life in it. These questions went through her mind over and over again till she reached the point of not wanting to wake up from her dreams that felt so real.
Adapted from P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern
If there were any words to describe my periods of depression, there will then be it. I thought there were no words to describe my feelings then until I saw this verse from the book and I realize it struck a chord in me. Thank God I have already found my purpose in life so that I do not feel that empty as I used to be.