always.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

hmm.today is 31st dec 2004.but i personally felt the world has changed.i've no idea y m i feeling so sad or wadsoever.must be the earthquake that had a tremendulous impact on me.i don get y m i here enjoying the luxury of hving a com whilst many others r suffering.hmm.thats the part of live i don get it.i'm now hving internal self-conflict agst religion.i felt i'm a selfish person who only pray when i need assurance.n the reason i'm hving self-conflict righht @ that moment when i saw so many has died in earthquake.i know life n death is predestinated.but i don get y those who shud not be suffering is still suffering.though i know that every1 is.but compare our situation.i cant help but roll my eyes when i read the article that the geologists of thailand din inform the coming of earthquake though they knew there was.don they noe the phrase better be safe than sorry?n their excuse?we were afraid it was a false alarm thus it'll hurt the tourisms.wad the...how many lives cld be saved.don they noe?hmm.n the weather cant be any better.it was raining like shit.today new yr eve shud hv nation countdown but for the memory of the deaths.there will be no broadcast but the party will still be on.but seeing the bad weather makes me wonder if the party will be cancelled off?i din its fair if its cancelled off altogether!i went to rent movie.actually prefer a comedy like 13 going on 30.unfortunately it was rent out n i was thinking of renting the day after tmr which i regret a lot cuZ the movie is abt flooding.make me only more sad?hmm..ok.my aim for 2004 was not to fail any subjects.i din really achieve it cuZ i've failed twice for amaths n once for phy.hmm..but overall i'm quite satisfied.2004 was an emotional yr i think.hmm.yup.hmm.i was feeling extremely down just now but feel better right now.while yesterday i was feeling extremely low but somehow i felt God's presence.i'm sorry to say i believe in one n only lord but i do hv doubts in jesus.i think xinli is right bible is a man's bk after all.not god's bk.hmm..i think dan brown is right faith is an illustion but it makes man a better person.but now there is often wars which was sparked by religious.then i think otherwise.hmm.2004 an eventful yr but i'm thankful i've survive.to think i'm going to be 16 soon makes me feel terrified.hmm.cuZ it means i'm older n there's sth call o's n mostly the end of yr means end of cedar.i've this dreadful insight that i'm going to get very bad o's results man.sigh.ok thats all.!

wow!i realised i changed so much.
like for instance i now write in paragraphs now instead of 1 whole chunk!
HAHA!:P
its irony how i can feel God's presence when i dun even believe in Jesus Christ last time.
i think God really good to me =)
you can try Him too!

and dan brown still right in faith is illusion( vs illustion look at my bad eng last time haha! ) cuz they are thoughts.
but dan brown doesnt know how to use faith to translate into reality
so thats why his faith will always remain as illusion
but i know my faith is illustrations.=)
they are illustrations of my beautiful future.=)
4th dimension! 4th dimension!
i love pstor cho more than dan brown now!
haha!

and speaking of love
i specially love these grp of people!=)

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

the very artistic jerlyn just wants to post all her besties from her secondary school(cedar)
and say you all really look v great here( i noe emm u so gg to kill me)
and all of you have grown really pretty
lets grow old and pretty tgt!

happy bday bestie!! =DDD

the wise old ahma!haha!

unglam emm!(sorry babe i rly wanted to put this pic!haha!)
and really kudos to you who make this entire bday celebrations so successful!=)

pretty shaomin!

sexy gongz!( i hope u dun mind ur pic here cuz i really think this pic u look gd!=D)

trying to get tty to do a split!

Kungfu girls! =)

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

i'm just felt so overwhelmed with my life right now
that i just wanted to say
thank You Jesus.
=)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

okies..i was looking at my age on my blog and i realised i'm no longer 18 but 19.
and for 1 moment of my life i had some age crisis thingy
as it dawned to me how OLD i am.haha!
the funny thing that you have known all along you are 19
and yet it never really dawned onto you like now.
this is how revelation is like
like everyone knows how Jesus died on the Cross
and yet few really felt the impact.
and i hope i am not sounding preachy
(beacuse i know people do get irrittated with preachy people)
but rather i hope the same revelation that i had with my age
will dawn onto them about God too.

More than this age crisis,
i've really enjoyed myself after i've stopped working.
technically,my life packed packed and more packed.
things like learning the guitar
hanging out with besties!(and yea emm u are porn cuz u watched the turtle porn too RIGHT?)
baking(and YESH EUNICE I"M SUPER EXCITED TOO!haha!)
reading(i cant wait for my harry potter book)
u know the kind of stuff i really wanted to do after my A's
but it is always written on a piece of paper
and it is hardly fufilled
and yea i am seeing things happening now.
so life with a purpose doesnt mean you have to fulfill the world's standard-like you just have to dance or go clubbing after A's etc etc!
it is just simply you.
ask yourself today do i really want to do....
and after you completed the checklist
do you feel satisfied?
can i tell you honestly no.
because i enjoyed more of the process
for instance reading a book.

speaking of seeing things happening now
we'll talk about the 4th dimension
initially there will be all the hype
and excitement
then when the vision tarries or dies
it becomes stagnant
yet i pray for more faith because i know
i've got a real cool God and
i really know things will happen!

alrighties.life really rocks!
come on and join in the bandwagon!!
(you know sometimes life can be a dread or a tad boring esp you find no exams and no work and thus no motive in life and yet i wrote them down,i felt so refreshed like my life really totally rocks! THANKSGIVING amen!)

Friday, June 13, 2008

i had an awesome day today! =)

it started with cg in the afternoon.
Flea had made this video for us and i just felt so overwhelmed.=)
like so many faces and every picture really has a story to tell.
and each time i felt it was another thing to go,
another event to go and i see all these truck loads of pictures
it definitely more than another event.
its really relationships being bond.
and realise God has been really amazing.=)

reminded me of this verse:
1 Corinthians 3:6
I planted, Apollos watered,but God gave the increase.
truly,God gave the increase.=)

then afterwhich we fellowship for a while.
cg had 30 people!!haha.
it was so funny
when yo is at her usual self
when huishan, beryl and yo did the SHE thing.
when jamie shared the familiness of d1
when leslie did the beatboxing
and the most touching part of the entire cg
was when jamie was hey huishan after u read the book pass it to jerlyn okies?
i mean like i was woah!
haha
cuz i really wanted to read the book badly and i did not have the courage to ask.
God amazing and jamie too is amazing! =)

Then afterwhich, me clara fiona cass and abi went to IT fair.
=).goodness.we've lots of fun.
we just keep going to shops to shops!
and we were all talking non-stop!haha!
and honestly clara and abi i really cant wait to shop w u guys again.
=DD
and i just wondered aloud to myself
this is what church should be like-a family,not babysitter or another outing to go out.
=DDDD

i love my friends.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

oh dear! i realise i've neglect my tagboard
(okies i din really just realise it just that i realise i've an increase of viewers)
so anyway,

YO CHUIFAN!! =) goodness i rly wish i can see ur face soon.haha!
hey emm my porn friend-i mean like come on look at ur tag for me!
haiyo my blog suppose to be holy 1 u noe.HAHA.kiddin girl.=P
i still love u loads bestie!=)
helllooss my grandchild!!=DD
hey thanks andy!but not as original as urs.i think urs nicer cuz u make urself de.haha
hey jamie!i think u're more inspiring!! =))))))))
JIAYI!!!!haha!(i'm so shocked u read my blog! :P)
hellos mabellllllllllllllllllllllll!i'm so touched u still tag my dying board.haha!=DDDDDDDDDD

to Name!
i've got this feeling i know who you are and yet i dunoe who you are.haha!
and truly you have made me pondered for many days
like why do i spend so much time in church
and many people also wondered why not use this time to help the poor and sick of society
instead of just crowding every weekend to have "fun"?

well i know in the end
at the end of the day
i am still contributing my part to society
to save that girl from committing suicide
(because i was saved-literally from committing suicide)
to save that guy from future broken marriages.
to save the person's father from going to old folks home.
to save this society's moral standards going downhill.
and to save doesnt mean in the christian context but in literal sense.

and i know volunteer work in the world can be a few day stint?a few month stint?
or how committed i can remain to the end towards a certain organisation to give meaning to this society?
honestly, i cant and unable to commit to an organisation for long to have an impact on let say this old folks home or that orphanage.
and i've gone to old folks home for CIP as part of school trips
and when i saw the old folks,
i felt so bad and sad.
they have seen their fair share of volunteers.
and yet they do not feel anything permanent impact from them.
(yes i know some do but i do not think i'm ready to live my whole live just being a volunteer only)
in fact, i felt and i still remember most of my groupmates felt the same
the old folks were entertaining us instead.
and i felt so burdened and so cruel
(because we are doing for the sake of CIP and not we really wanted to help them as 1st priority)

but i know that what i'm doing now
have even more everlasting impact.
i'm saving someone from committing suicide.
i'm saving someone from going into that old folks home that i've seen
and i'm saving someone from all the emotional pain should the person really sent to the home.

Psalm 110:3
Your people shall be volunteers
In the day of Your power;
In the beauties of holiness,from the
womb of the morning,
You have the dew of Your youth.

and yea i "volunteer" myself in church knowing this going to have a more everlasting impact.
i'm not relieving the pain of someone or to make my life more meaningful or just by contributing to the society.
i'm building someone's life
someone's family
someone's eternity.

As much as there's probably one organisation you can commit yourself to volunteer to give back to society because of the limited resources-time etc.
There is also only one vision i can commit myself too.
and i believe with all my heart and soul there is really nothing but the power of God to change people life and to change society.
and no not even church or the church feel can help me to change people lives-to give people a meaning.=)

=).thats abt it!i respect ur stance and hopefully you do not take offend at my stance!
and even if the person did not come back and read it
i know and i thank God for strengthenin my faith once again.=)

Monday, June 09, 2008

i find myself too small-minded.

I just so happens to hop by a few of my ajc friends blogs.
and i really marvelled because they seem like the 'role models'
i wanted to be-to be cool,to belong the in-crowd.
and now i'm reading their blogs
their lives are filled with emptiness.
i cannot describe but i know those who are reading this
they know what it means,they know how it feels.
whether or not u are christian.

and i begin to day-dream.
that secret little day-dream of mine
that 1 day i hang out w my churchies and then i can show them i'm much cooler than them.
(i told u i'm small-minded)

then after readin their blogs,
i felt an impulse to read my leaders' blog!
and while i'm chatting with them
i felt there's sth amazing in them
they are truly the people who are the coolest on the outside
and their core is nv empty
their core is always with a purpose
the more i know about them
the more closer i want to be with them.
the more i want to be like them.=DD

and sorry babe church aint a social club
aint just a religious instituition
its more than that.
it definitely more than that.

this is the only place i know there is the everlasting coolnes in the peole
and an uncool person can become cool.
more than an image.
there is a core.
a strong core.=D

i'm definitely too small-minded.
i'm ready for bigger things now.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

chance this upon an email.thought it was real funny!haha.
hope every1 has a great laugh here.=DDDDD!

A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to
concede their
position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and
pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the
wife replied, "In-laws."



WORDS
A husband read an article to his
wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat
everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
"What?"



CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know
how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The
wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be
attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!



WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about
who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it,
because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking
around here and
you should do it, because that is your
job, and I can just wait for my
coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
is in the
Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe
that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages,
that it indeed says..........
"HEBREWS"


The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having
some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the
next day, he would need his wife to wake
him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight. Not wanting to be the
first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of
paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find

it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and

he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why
his
wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these
kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is
always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

hey guys!

haha.my life wonderfulllllllllll man...=)
i felt so priviledged of entering people's life
so priviledged in doing all the things i am doing now.
just that i am not working
and i felt a bit lost initially.
as i thought that my june will be packed
but due to a change of plan.
it wont.
and for all my 19 years of my life,i've been chionging
it really weird
not used to the so called slackin.
haha.

nevertheless, i know that God has His plans.
so many people i wish to meet up.
so many family time i need to catch up.
so many books i want to read.
so much time to learn guitar
so many many quiet time i want to spend with Him.=)

i know that my purpose is still Him
even if i've a job or not.=)

Above all, i am really thankful.
thankful to be in usher(spartans)
it's like i'm in ftms house in BIG
that team spirit all over again.
=D =D =D
little things like jacky gave me sweet during usher makes me very very very very haaaaaaapppieee.
haha.
little things like how nic sim told me abt the days in henderson
make me feel part of henderson days
little things like joinin them for dinner at long john
and listening to lame jokes.

thankful many many times my life is completely 180 degree changed.
just breaks my heart to see people
knowing their God
but refusing to step into His destiny.
knowing that you can no longer living such life as you are living right now.
knowing that living a life with Him makes you happy.

nevertheless, i know i am not God
but He is the one who gave it all.
knowing i'll be never equal to Him.
Till then, i'll be praying
you'll stepped into your destiny and be with me serving Him.

that's my little secret dream.=)