always.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

okies. my 18th bday nth special rly.i went church as normal.went tuition as normal.everything is normal.or at least it appears to be.cuz i get hell(due to my family) and i am unhappy cuz of my high expectations on ppl.oh well.think of the wkend makes me boil.BUT, this year, i receive lots of present which i nv had in my entire life. n i need to thank a lot of ppl who make my bday wonderful still.

to those who sms: gerry(my precious senior who is the 1st person to msg me)
yiting( my spiritual partner)
henrietta(despite not being close to me n still msg me every yr w/o fail)
mavis
hudzy
mabel n agnes (love ya hockey babes)
yanting(tks for rememberin my bday =])
amanda voon(ahh...i rly miss u=]),
cuthbert
joycelyn( my SISTER!haha..)
eekeng (oh my goodness, i cldnt believe we meet up with each other on my bday!!!)
xiany(price tag dear..haha.)
fiona(haha cute fiona)
xinli(for the special touch of gift)
tzeyin( i can bully u forever haha)
hongchia( for making an effort of knowing my bday)
amelia
manzhi.( though u entered my life early in my years, ur memory is still so dear to me =) tks for remembering my bday every year)

tks all.nv receive so much sms in my life.=).it reminded me of sth that dean has said b4,it doesnt matter how many friends u hv but how many friends love ya.yea.i like this quote.haha.

tks to pinyu for tolerating my whininess, tks to ahma who entertain me despite me sulking away, gong n tty who make an effort to do stuff beyond my imagination n keeping me happy.haha.tks to the hockey babes, abigail,agnes and mabel for the gift and to abigail for bringing your nephew out.maybe it is one of the Devil's work.these hockey gurls hv these unexplainable closeness, understanding that despite i dun feel left out but i felt a link missing,sth like

haha.bday.hmm..this yr it holds a whole lot of diff for me.being 18 seem like a stepping stone BUT i still feel like a kid.wanna know why? cuz i know i am still a child of God and i do not have to be afraid of making decisions or the so call adult decision, about getting bf,getting married, gettin married cuz He has the whole life planned out for me =).
i still feel like a kid, wanting so much to be loved and God can feel that. i know =).

Saturday, January 20, 2007

haha...it has been ages since i last blog. however, i must blog about this special day- my 18th b'day! =)

okies, i guess firstly i need to apologise to 2406(esp those who heard me say may as well dun get me a bday cake). i am super sorry dearies; i do not mean that, i realise the cake was like $22 and every1 dun seem to enjoy it and ur class funds is clearly running out of funds. SO PPL PLZ PAY UP! haha..haha n the fact that i am a very practical person n i just realise sth at night that i was really mean when i said that and i did not look beyond the heart of people who plan the whole thing. thx for this sweet little card done by you all =)! love ya my class. my past whole yr, i hv been so crap but u all nv seems to be my side.maybe we are all not close but it is the ppl who do an act of kind gesture in times of difficulties that really touches me! =)
n kyna i've been sorry for the horrible things i've done.=(

I LOVE 24/06! =)

then after school, i went to meet cia to watch blood diamond 1st before cating up w xiany and tty. blood diamond is a super nice movie,i wanted to cry but i din which surprise me cuz in normal circumstances, i wld.then we went to vivo rooftop and sit down there and slack n gossip and catch up w each other lives. it was so surreal and relaxing.sth i wanted to get away from all my life.to get away from literally everything.from family, from school, from church. just to hang out w them where my hearts so longs for the peace.then i realise how much i love and enjoy my 18 bday! =) then we exhange pressie cia gave me a bear.oh dear,i've a soft spot for bears.haha.xiany gave me braclet and hp pouch and she forgot to remove price tag.haha..but i am very touched by this whole thing.tks cia and xiany. n my everdearest tzeyin,haha..u still own me for 3yrs,make it 4 this yr.haha.
then me n cia went to eat at food republic( hey it is a nice place to eat..haha)and then brakerzine for 4 cakes.i swear i nv eat so much bday cake in my whole life.haha.i miss her so much.i wish i can see her more than once a year n somehow i feel cia has somewhat changed. there is a Light shining over her life.=)!
no matter wad happen, i love cia! =)!

HAPPY 18TH B'DAY CIA AND JER! =)!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

This is the 2nd day of school. Haha.. But the Devil has tried attacking me left right centre and I am just thinking can I last the entire year? I am not confident myself but I have faith in God. =)! This is all it matters =)!

I do admit I do feel insecure even though it is only the 2nd day but God opened my eyes today and let me see a thing that I never used to see and of which I shall not mention, in case I get bished up by people. Haha.. however, there is another point which I know I should mention and that I saw the vision of Jesus being so secure and do lowly job despite knowing He is Son of God.

Nothing offensive but an interesting qns why do humans always tend to stick tgt?

Why do we always have to laugh at people who are not socially accepted by the norm? Can’t you see the struggle they are trying to integrate in? I know I am not setting good example and I realized it is those times when the Devil attacked me. It is those time that I want things my way, hanging out with whoever I want to. But, I realize that is so empty and pointless to keep pleasing people in my entire life and also just to look good. I know why I am created like that this, the reason why I feel more for people, the reason why I am more sensitive. It is time for me to execute what I feel. Devil, you can attack me but you can no longer manipulate me like last year cuz I am secure in my God and my God is bigger than you! =)!

I don’t want to hang out in cliques; I don't want to suck up to anyone. I want to be able to reach out to those alone, to love them and to accept for who they are. I am not great at this, but I want to try. Lord, let you will be done not mine!

Monday, January 01, 2007

Luke 12:26
If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious for the rest?

This is going to be my favourite verse of the year. I think God really spoke to me through His words. I guess i was really impatient,wanting to bear fruits asap that I fail to go love people as who they are and meet their needs;rather i became another christian whose aim is to evangelise but not love people. Most importantly, i did not enjoy myself the people work that y i was feeling spiritually dry and also people could probably feel the fakeness in me.haha.

this is also applicable to homework and the stress that is impending.haha.many of us pile our hw.n we felt stress cuz of the pile.haha.so maybe we shud start doing a bit hw, and don worry the rest 1st.haha.

God shows me a lot of things today; and that is to go and love people and this is more important than going to evangelise as the 1st priority!

Love God! Love people! Love Life! =)