always.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

no idea..

fed up.terribly upset.don noe y but it definitely affect my mood a lot.don feel like goin cat high campfire anymore.sian man...i don noe..just don feel like living u noe.so sick.felt happy on wed cuZ went to do ce project.feel much happier than in guides.yup.guess i'm not close to any1.n she chose to hang out with other peeps.i cant say anything right.whatever la.cuZ i cant control any1 n no point shedding tears.i've learn enuff liao.thnks you.i'll always try to be myself.i wish many times i can stop being sad.in fact i'm so often sad that i'm so used to it n when it comes to being happy i was actually i felt happy on wed.sighh..kk.sometimes feel that life is not worth living but i keep in mind that there are other who are less fortunate than me.so yup.hmm..last time in frenZship pro it is easier to resolve as long as i say sorry.but this time it is entirely different.its completely over. we r now friends but not best buddies anymore.maybe things in this way is better than nth..so yup.i don want to get hurt anymore.i don think anything got to do with my fault this this time i try to understand u but u nv understand me n u blame me for not understanding u...hello?do u noe the hell tt i went thru when u're popular.u nv...thru out the 1st 3mths u was not even there when i'm sad but where were i when u fight with ty?the pro is u always hv so many frenZs tt u ignore the others.when u face pros in ne ship u can easily jump onto another.cuZ there will be ppl there for u.nothings hurts so much than now.seriously.i try to talk to you.but i don think everything is ok.i try to talk to you sensitive issues like this so that both parties will not get hurt and worsen our frenZship.but i donne how.u always hv others to console but i've non.i'm not piss off with u for not informing me.but just piss off with myself for not being likeable by many.i think u got all that mistaken.frustrated with myself y i cant fit in.but they way u treats me hurts me even more sometimes.seeing u less sometimes means less of hurting myself.i hope u can read this emm.i don mean to make u piss or make our frenZship even worse but hope that this can improve our frenZship even more.thanks.

Monday, March 14, 2005

sat:dance and after that

ok went for amath tuition late.nearly slam the door agst mr ong.ahahha.very funny.think i slam too hard.pinyu sth wrong yesterday, kept copying the wrong question.for the 1st time i actually did a question correct and faster than her.ahha.ok.then went for dance.this time the session it was shorter. i just still cant dance to the tune n i'm the odd 1 out??arrgh.sigh.ok after dance went mac to eat.thnk to mac now my nose itch like hell.no idea why thot that my nose was perfectly fine no allergies.then now littat.if only i knew...anyway @ mac very funny la.gongZzZ n huiyen ''quarrelling''.think we look very childish but its hilarious.then went gong hse to do hw.surprisingly i can concentrate le.the environment is very nice!!!too bad cant stay overnight.anyway it was @ mac tt i realise that is wad frenZship shuld be laughter n free will to tok.not like feeling uneasy with that grp of frenZ .it is so carefree to hang out with them.@ 1st i dread phy tuition.but i heck care liao.i'm giving the nonchalent attitude liao.arrgh.wadever.i learn to be tougher.

Friday, March 11, 2005

end of 1st term

omg..first term had already ended and i cannot believe that i can survive it.!!yay!!!hmm..dhivya got piss off today n the whole class got a scolding from her.haiZ..pity that girl.too stress ba.but cant help but agree that the class is not united @ all.seriously speaking i wont cry or feel sad if i leave ba.not because i'm a heartless person and i'm a loner n do not care abt social lives just like potassium hyroxide.but because i do not feel any bond between one of them n i mean really close ones.i don see the same spirit i see in 2/0 and in 4z.even up till now i felt attached to my 2/0 friends who are now in different classes.surprisingly i'm much closer to xianny wq, ty than any of my classmates.hmm.yup.din really do well for 2st term.need to buck up n stop dreaming/stoning in class.cant help it.no air-con u see.ahaha.:P.whatever.got this girl whom i quite piss with.i think she's a hypocrite.she sometimes very close to our gang n sometimes she aint.n she's only close to us when she is quarrelling with the other party she is close with @ times.she tries to pacify one of the girls in the grp i hang out well bcuZ tt girl once told her how piss she is.then she just ignore the others in the grp feelings.it seem that i grow to hate her day by day.sigh.n she used to be one of my best buddy?sigh.there is another girl whom i'm very confused with.she sometimes can be real nice to me n sometimes can roll her eyes behind my back.i realy hate her la.i mean come on.if u hate me just say it.don need to be such a hypocrite n backstab my back u know.each time i see how u try to please someone makes me want to puke..arrgh.i'm really sorry if anyone mistaken that u are 1 of the 2 girls.n i know that i have no right to judge and criticize ppl cuZ i'm not a better person than them either.i just wish to express my feelings abt certain matters.keeping it inside is hard @ times.