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Monday, December 29, 2008

I met Jon Pang at popular today
and I thought to myself
whoa one year has passed!
You know one year has passed and yet you can still feel the same emptiness
the same search for longing
the weird quesey feeling of wanting something but yet you do not know what.

but you can also know that one year later
you felt that you have changed you have been moulded
you are now secure.
truly, I felt the latter. =)

I always know I have changed from the past
but I do not know how much
because you got to understand character moulding doesnt come overnight
it comes bit by bit
and it hurts in the process of discipleship
but standing besides Jon Pang today 
( btw i am refering him as one year, not that i am holier than him pls AHHA. i am so soriee to refer u as one year)
I just know I have changed.
I have become someone stronger.
I cannot explain what but something spiritual that me myself was amused by myself.

I know many people have laughed at me,
for my faith, for spending sooo much time in church
while a normal Christian spent 2 hrs in a week.
but truly, i never regret.
it pays to be idealistic
but i know in the end i am glad i din not give up thus far
and i dun intend to give up either.
i am glad i give up the best years of my life for God, for pastors, for leaders, for people.

i was reminded of danielle testimony in church over the weekend.
she is a 20 sth lady who struck cancer last year
and she shared her testimony that how her leaders actually 4th Dimension her sharing healing testimony on stage one day
and i cried,
because I know there is no place where dreams truly come true.

Is there a vision you are willingly to die for today?