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Wednesday, January 23, 2008
19th birthday...nothing glamorous about it! in fact i do not feel that i am 19(which is a good thing).haha
was unhappy with things but i guess i am struggling with insecurities, though some unpleasant stuff were really uncalled for and i felt i did not deserve it.and because of that i was unhappy for a couple of days.you know the worst feelings u can get is that you have the right to be angry but you cannot be angry,but in the end you let out your anger and everyone is upset and you felt you have sinned terribly.and oh i wasnt refering to just bday celebration-in fact it was EVERY aspect of my life.and it is not that i am dumb.i can tell the devil attacking me.(simply..others can and i cannot) today as ernest just shared with me he was crashing into aj with yo to spend time with junwei.i realised i have spend too much time emo-ing and too narrow-minded.and i simply miss people work.haven been out for outings. gotta be will-led and not emotions-led cuz i cannot lead a normal simple life. the greatest reward of my 19th bday is this quote from xiany in her bday card to me: "I suppose your encounter with God has certainly given you much live,laughter and peace!We can all see the change in you! like being more optimistic now." despite all the issues i am facing, this is what keeps me going on strong for the Lord.=D.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
saw this on my churchies blog and i thought i liked it a lot.there it goes!
If God has called you to be really like Christ in all your spirit, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility and put on you such demands of obedience, that He will not allow you to follow other Christians, and in many ways He will seem to let other good people do things which He will not let you do. Others can brag on themselves, and their work, on their success, on their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing, and if you begin it, He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works. The Lord will let others be honored and put forward, and keep you hid away in obscurity because He wants to produce some choice fragrant fruit for His glory, which can be produced only in the shade. Others will be allowed to succeed in making money, but it is likely God will keep you poor because he wants you to have something far better than gold and that is a helpless dependence on Him; that He may have the privilege of supplying your needs day by day - out of an unseen treasury. God will let others be great, but He will keep you small. He will let others do a great work for Him and get credit for it, but He will make you work and toil on without knowing how much you are doing; and then to make your work still more precious, He will let others get the credit for the work you have done, and this will make your reward ten times greater when He comes. The Holy Spirit will put strict watch over you, with a jealous love, and will rebuke you for little words and feelings, or for wasting your time, which other Christians never seem distressed over. So make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign, and has a right to do what He pleases with His own, and He will not explain to you a thousand things which may puzzle you in His dealing with you. He will wrap you up in a jealous love, and let other people say and do many things that you cannot do or say. Settle it forever, that you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit, and that He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue, or chaining your hand, or closing your eyes, in ways that others are not dealt with. Now, when you are so possessed with the Living God that you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over this particular personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the vestibule of heaven. by G. D. Watson (1845-1924)
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Completely relying on Him.
I have never done that before but I am from today till the next day. Use me, for Your glory Lord. =)
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Remember the days!LOL can you spot the last time me and the new me difference! I don't even think I change la!HAHA!
Here are some pics we took during our chinatown shopping on the last day of 2007!!haha! Every one is like so pretty!! =) Here's my besties! cheers to our SIX years of friendship!!cannot you believe it? and to gongz our special TWELVE years anniversary!!!!!
Many times, we failed to realise; we have the power to choose how we feel rather than allowing the circumstances to dictate how we feel.
Like,for instance, we can choose to feel secure despite circumstances of people intentionally/accidentally leaving you out. we can choose to say "NO TO EMO" when there are days when debts are high,burden becomes heavy etc. we can choose to feel not angry even though people backstab you etc we can choose not to feel hurt because someone really close lashed you out for no reason. we can choose.but the power to defy it is hard. but still, i thank my God I have the power to choose.=)
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Hellos GUYS! =)
I spend the last few moments of 2007 with ty and emm eating kolo mee at Chinatown,taking many interesting pictures at Chinatown and also shopped at Chinatown!Then, we went to Marina Square and continue our shopping spree at Mango where there is sales sales and more sales!haha! After which, went to eat bacon chicken sandwich and beefchillicheese fries at Carls Junior. Can I honestly share that I am still having a craving for it? HAHA! I really enjoy the last few moments of 2007 with them! =) Then, I hopped to church while ty emm and gong went to emm house and slack because emm and ty cannot stand the crowds at city hall. Recently, decisions like this have to be made(to spend time with churchies or besties) but I never regret because I believe you can never outgive God but yet at the same time it doesnt mean I do not love my besties anymore.I love them enough to make such decisions which is beyond comprehension at this point of time.Nevertheless, I just want to say I still love you all besties if any of you are reading this now! =) So i hopped to church, and spend an awesome time worshipping God and hear the awesome Word from God. Something just flowed into the hearts of many which was totally unexplainable that night. I love the fact that God is actually using all the not-so-priviledged people in the society and doing something GREAT! in all of us!It just reminded something of the bible when the rich and smart oppressed Jesus while the weak received Jesus.From there, the weak received many blessings. Then, my cg went to have prata at like 2+am and people just went crazy! I would have if not for the fact that I have not been feeling unwell. After which, we went back and have a cg sharing session about our future.AWESOME! just that I do not know what I want to do still and I have no idea of achieving it but dreaming is free so who cares?HAHA! Then i went home and slept for eight hours and I am still very zonked out and I have a strong desire to go shopping NOW!haha!
I am super zonked out despite the eight hours of sleep I had! haha!
And I am super upset and unhappy with things happening because of the inaccurate facts and the neglience in a place where I love the most. But then again, who is perfect? I am just a girl seeking attention but yet I do not want the attention. Irony and complicated?haha! |