always.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

HAHA!
call me a freak/mugger or whatsoever not
i kinda of enjoy what i am doing now
MUGGING!
i love to study with people
and you know once you get crazy
it is really interesting.
like people have weird tendency like for instance violence!
HAHA.
or u can see people muttering and singing away
or just simply laughin at how we cannot think at 6pm in the evening
or simply just keep suan-ing people

in short, i think i have fallen in love my class
and thats the reason i come to school everyday

anyway, was on my way home
i pass by this reallly huge tree that stood in reverance by the roadside
and suddenly i realise
this is how standing before God feels like.
BIG
and i realise there is nth u can hide from HIm
and your problems will always be smaller
n guess what it is a tangible feeling
not those spiritual i feel like it is right thing.

Jesus. i love my BIG God!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

HAHAs.i hereby declare i have phobia of hospital

Lord, teach me to have compassion like Yours.

mom admitted into hospital and crap and you know the whole extended family came and all their rubbish including throw away the bed my mom slept in as they think it brings bad luck.wad can i say?they just keep buzzing with phone calls one after the other and poor me have to listen all the family politics, anger yada yda over over over again and i can say my phone no is 24hr.really.it just wont stop ringing.until i really want to break down and cry.i mean can say it is fair for an 18 yr old girl to go thru all these emotional turmoil when she is having or going to have her A's.and i often wonder why i did not do well in my major years cuz my mom likes to flaunt her stunts during these years?

Forgive.Sometimes it is hardest.
but God forgave me for all my sins.
and i thank Him for a sound mind thru out this period
i may break down
but i thank God
i will never live the life my mom led
cuz i have a choice and i have a God whose blood washes me clean
so i do not have the burden to soar.
God,You are my first Love always.
all the past generations crap
is going to end in my generation
cuz i make the choice.
no more politics, no more mental illness yada yada

and i have faith i will do well in my studies.
and i will do anything to glorify you.
i will rise up above all these difficulties.
i will.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

alrighties quick update! =)
God has been good and kind. =)
pastor today preach abt a few thing-mainly church directions

hoGc is going to raise up

1.a generation who is pure and holy.
2.a generation who is competent and successful.
3.a generation of leaders.
4.a generation of volunteers.
5.a generation of great and Godly families.
6.a generation of missionaries.

I WANT TO BE THIS GENERATION!!! =D!

To build a world class church in a First world nation with first class spiritual atmosphere.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Retreat aint necessary a bad thing.
It is a strategy for you to build up your defences.
I am not talking about studies.
Something more terrible.
haha.
THE DEVIL
(which sometimes can be equal to my mom)
haha..
i'm serious.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Festival of Praise 2007

For the past few weeks, it has been a struggle with many cliches and quotes of faith. It is no longer that I do not believe in God, not knowing that He is always good and faithful cuz I know He is and will always be. Something just stirred; all the temptations that the Devil tested me, I failed them miserably. I never feel so dirty or messed up and worse still not knowing why i feel like that. All the visions and dreams seem to died just like Lazarus in the bible after so much pleads for the Lord. Perhaps, it is amazing how long Jesus takes to work something suddenly in your life! :) But, until Jesus said it is finished, it will not be so.

and there were 2 sisters in the story too where i would say i am more like Martha than Mary; who sees the worldly side of things(not worldly things) than the spiritual-the impossible, who is a perfectionist, who is hardworking and becomes disgruntled with the Lord. Perhaps, sometimes we seek the healings and blessings more than the Healer and Blesser...Martha knows the Promise of God that Jesus will resurrect Lazarus in the Last Day, but she did not know He was going to do it then and there. Sometimes, we need to have an open heart for God to work the most impossible things in our lives right here and right now even when you are reading this. :)

Whatever you are facing right now(all the problems), they are always for the glory of Son of the God. John11:4 He said, " This sickness in not unto death but for the glory of God that the Son of God may be glorified through it." Sometimes, we feel so dirty and messed-up by our problems that we forgot the Book of Life saying we are forgiven already. Because forgiveness comes not just because we felt forgived but by the grace of the Lord.

Actually, i was supposed to usher yesterday but God has His other plans. I met new people who taught me Isiah40 which told me the Lord strength will renew my soul. It's pretty amazing how i know new friends cuz I do not know the directions to Singapore Indoor Stadium but God always plant people to guide me to your final destination. I think the brother and sister are really sweet people. :). Huiying previously told me to go for FOP with an open heart and indeed that open heart allow me to absorb what I learnt yesterday. Otherwise, it would be just another concert, another sermon, another cliche.

As I was just worshipping, God renewed my vision and say "I'll be your guide and I will do it for you(make a way for you)." And i say God this is all i need, a few words from You. He can do what you cant when you did all that you can. =). It just reaffirms my saying " hey people out there, stop saying I can't because I know I can with Jesus in me." :)

what can I say?
FOP 2007 is truly AWESOME!

Friday, August 03, 2007

i am down.

devil.well done.

but you know what i wont give up

i wont give up what i want

all i want is You back.

cuz i know

faith is saying "I can't and He can."

enuff of cliche and start with actions.