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Sunday, September 10, 2006

You never seem to amaze me!

When I feel my faith is decreasing and whenever I tried to seek You but could not feel Your presence, You always have a plan for me returning to Your side.

Today sermon was really impactful; really close to my heart! It taught me how to be closer to You which I do not deny that I’m struggling!

Last week for the two consecutive nights, I had nightmares. One of them is me trying to run away from these two villains in my dream. The feeling is horrifying I tell you. The fear that consumes me. The running that never stop. I even dreamt of running to church to seek sanctuary but I ended up in my tuition class with robots learning computer. I do not know why it turn out that way but it did not freak the hell out of me as my favourite tuition teacher was there protecting me. Another dream was that I keep meeting new people; people whom I never see. It is scary for me as I am learning to interact with people again but my confidence has yet to regain. =(!

By yesterday, I was back to my depressed state. I do not know why I feel this overwhelming sadness loomed over me. I prayed about it but I could not feel You. Needless to say, I was even more upset.

Today, I was thinking should I even go church? I was beginning to doubt You. BUT, pastor how once mentioned when you don feel like coming to church it is the time that you really need to come. How true!

Today sermon taught me a lot and saw my faith rising again! There is a revival in me! I am so thankful for this spiritual breakthrough! The most salient thing I learnt is that be thankful for everything even when you ARE suffering(there is a difference between this n give thanks for suffering) and praise the LORD!