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Monday, September 18, 2006

I had another nightmare yesterday night. It reveals all my insecurities. Strangely, I dreamt of my church logo. The heart and a Cross. Someone drew it. One of my classmates who is a non-Christian. She drew it in red marker. She drew till very ugly. That wasn’t the highlight of my dream. In fact my dream was a superficial and scary one. I never really thought much about the drawing during my dream. I knew in my dream I was very badly hurt. However, when I woke up, I felt comforted the fact that the drawing existed in my nightmare. It just brings lots of joy at that point of time.

I guess it says a lot? God is always here. No matter what. It is just whether we choose to turn to him when we are in pain or turn away. Many times, I turn away. just like in my dream. But when I got out of my nightmare, reflecting back I realize that He was there with me. It is just me who can’t feel His presence.

After watching passion of Christ last Tuesday, I’ve learnt to commit myself even more to Him. What touches me a lot was he undergone so much physical pain and malicious statements were hurled against Him. At the same time, scenes of Him preaching the message of love were flashed. That was the watershed of my life.
Can you imagine you torture and hurt someone? And yet that person still loves you and pray for you? we all know that it is not easily to forgive and forget and most importantly love the ones you hate. But yet, He did it so willingly. It makes me so ashamed. The real love is not loving someone whom you already love, but loving someone whom you hate. That is called real love.

The true meaning of love.