always.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

*please take note that ‘you’ does not refer to anyone in specific

It is amazing how people can blog each and everyday. Is life so packed that they have tales to tell everyday? I am wondering. I guess life does bring different things everyday but still what I read mainly from people who blog everyday is lectures so boring, tutorials piling up etc. Is this what teenager’s life all about? Do I really want to end up feeling this way? I’ve decided that I do not want my life to be this. I do not want to have a nonchalant attitude towards my life. I’ve to be proactive with it. Most importantly, I should stop daydreaming and I extremely hate daydreaming.

You* would probably laugh at me at the age of 17 and here I am confessing that I am still daydreaming. What I feel is that I think many are still daydreaming. This is only my generalization. I am making sweeping statements. However, who never dreamt of a better life? Dreamt of better grades? Dreamt that parents are richer and you could have done more activities? I know this kind of issues many would not dare to admit but right inside of your heart, I do not think you can deny feeling these ways before. I hate daydreams. They are so addictive. It is so nice to live in an utopia; believing that you are a superhero (not that I dreamt of being a superhero). What I am trying to highlight is that a superhero never dies, always triumph and always well-liked. Don’t everyone wish to be like that? That is why I feel daydreams are very addictive. However, I got to wake up. They are not real. They do not form my life. In fact, they are hindering me to have a real taste of life.

Another thing is about boring lectures and tutorials. I heard many complaining. But I am actually enjoying it. I know people who read this are shock. They would probably think is jerlyn going insane? Haha… I am perfectly fine. Aj did not make me a mugger. It just that I feel if you enjoy the process, no matter how painful the process is, you will enjoy it. I mean come on, if there are only play and play and play in this world. Would you not feel bored? I believe in a balance in life. There must be work done and play. I am emphasizing that I am not a mugger! Because of my belief, I recently got into a conflict with myself. This is due to the fact that I cannot stand not being hardworking. Maybe it is just my trait. This is how I am brought to be. Sigh.

I am joining cheerleading. Wow, you might gave me the look of disbelief. I mean come on I do not look like dancer. However, cheerleading is something that I always wanted to dabble with. I am young. I do not want to wait till I am old and I cannot dance anymore. Most importantly, I am scared. Scared of trying out. Scared of not being able to master the dance steps within 2 weeks. Scared that the new friends I am making will not like me. Scared of this. Scared of that. And also the money issue. However, thanks to gongx, she makes me realize how much I want to do it. How much I will regret if I do not do it. That did the trick. I should not care what people thinks of me (not being able to dance). But to pursue what I really want is what matters. I do not wish to be hold back from society expectations’ of a person. Like if you are not the sporty kind and you wish to join a sport but you are scared because of the so many issues that the society dictates you. I often encourage my friends to do things that they never dare to do. Therefore, I should lead an example too right. So here I am, I know many of us are holding back things. Not daring to join anything but instead we should let go and follow our passion. This is somewhere it can take you.

I should be having class outing now with 21/06 pae. but here I am blogging about how I feel about life. I feel that I need a break from crowd. It is one of the moments that I feel I need to reflect on my life. I think it is an extremely long piece. So I shall end here. I hope people can give their comments on my tagboard. ”)!