always.

Friday, April 28, 2006

For the first time in my life, I finally understood the difference between language and mathematics. Not that I am retarded or what, after so many years of studying,
I still do not know what is the difference between them? Let’s put it this way: I finally understood both their strengths. Language is something to express itself; you are not required to think. However, mathematics required critical thinking but yet it can’t express itself well. I’ve no idea why I start my entry this. Probably 1 of my random thoughts that I want to jot it down. (I am easily amazed by the puny things in life.) of course, there would not people thinking I am nuts wondering about something that is so obvious but exactly how many of us feel this towards the subjects? Or are you like another student ploughing your way thru’ the whole education yrs without anything to think.

Often, exciting thing happen in the end of the week. Cannot blame because I can vaguely remember what happen in the beginning of the week. Anyway, 27/04/06 was AJ sports day. My house was on the losing streak but what most important is that our class is so rah-rah. When we dare to cheer and the rest just stared at us. It reminded me so much of cedar spirit when we just scream and cheer like no one business. Although this is a much smaller scale, at least I could feel the unity within 24/06. That was also the first time in the history that I create a miracle: I actually got a medal for something. I never had that. k? I was really thankful of this chance although the event taken part is not big event. Haha. We also bully xue shuang. Poor her! She’s so easily deceived! After the whole sports day. I decided to go TP MOS BURGER for dinner alone. I saw qian qian (my primary school friend!) and her friends at mos and decided to join them for dinner upon qian qian’s invitation. It great to know new friends and I guess their friends must have thought I am very blur. Haha. Along the way, meet other primary schoolmates but most I do not recognized them just as they do not recognize me. Haha. Oh well. I guess I’ve real bad memory.

Today go tuition for GP again. As usual, I will comment on something I’ve learnt today. Her best friend’s daughter is anorexic, what a shame that the girl is very pretty. That poor girl has low-self esteem. I realize the prettier you are, the lower your self-esteem would be. Therefore my current msn nick is saying I am ugly does not mean I’ve low self-esteem. Each time I mentioned I am ugly, people will go, “jerlyn why do u have such a low self-esteem.” I just want to give a shoutout that people I am fine and in fact I think I have high self-esteem. I am just being truthful to myself. Pretty means pretty, ugly mean ugly. I am so critical of chiobus so why should I be less critical to myself? I am NOT depressed just because of my imperfect looks. Tell you frankly, if I’ve got the power to change my physical appearances, I would not do it. This is so as I am okay with the way I look. Even the pimples and the scars as they are part of me. Without them, they are not Jerlyn. It will not form the compassionate me; it is just aint me la. Moreover, I think of this girl who is quite pretty. Even I’ve to admit it which is not very often. But so what she is pretty? She is superficial, artificial, and not well-liked. At least I do not possess these qualities. At least my name is not smeared. So much on looks today.
Btw, 21/06 pae: I saw Yolanda in SA u at my tuition centre today. The most comical thing is that we did not realize each other’s presence until 2nd half of the lessons. It is pretty amazing to see people you know again. Unfortunately, Yolanda is still very quiet but when the tutor asked her to read out loud, she can speak so much better than me.

Nth much to add on. Just praying that tty can stayover at my house on Sunday!'')!