always.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Another week has passed. Frankly speaking, I can’t remember much on how this week has passed. No idea what I had felt strongly about and wanted to comment on it. So many things has blurred in one thin line.

I shall start on Thursday then, 20/04/06. I had GP tuition in the evening as usual. I enjoy tuition. I’m NOT a mugger. It just that my tuition teacher is always fun and interesting yet at the same time preaching. Sometimes, she is controversial. I began to love English more and more because of her. Anyway, I realize every week topic centralized on BGR. It is quite nice to know everyone’s opinion, especially the guys because I am still so amused by them( yup I know I get amused easily). The topic is on whether guys dare to wear their hearts on their sleeves (e.g. tell their emotions to the girls they like). The response is that ALL the guys said no. I heard someone’s brother even coerced the girl to admit her feelings before admitting his. I think that is very sad and pathetic. I mean come on la. Do you guys expect the girls to wear our hearts on sleeves and being typecast as despos. Sigh. Situations are so tricky. I know guys also want their face value. However, I thought that guys take rejection better than girls( from what I read from newspaper). At the same when the topic was brought up, I feel very mean to these two friends of mine. I feel that there is no progress on their relationship because of me. Not that I come as third party. It is just that I blew the entire issue up. I think now they feel very awkward to each other. I just feel very mean because they must have trust me to tell me their feelings and yet I sort of betrayed them. I do not know. But, anyway, I give the guy thumbs up for his courage which I think many lack of.
I wore my aj U to tuition for lijun to see but she did not come in the end =(!

I did not feel stress for aj family day until Friday. I was more of piss than stress. Anyway, the stress was augmented by anger. However, I am thankful of many people like huiying Yvonne mavis shihui for helping me out with buying of the food. And again to huiying, wanying and huiyan(all the lame jokes…haha) Sophia heem mei Christina kyna for cheering up up when I was piss. I feel that huiying is a great friend and a great leader too. J! I would gladly give up my class leader position for her. It is not that I am unconfident of myself. But I feel that she deserves more than I do. Anyway, I am an ENFJ. I nurture other people and groom their leaderships. Not that hers need to be groomed. If I were to keep insisting on this position, it makes me feel like a dictator. What is the point on being a leader without anyone’s respect? I must say that leadership is an opportunity for one to serve people and not for one’s glory. Hence, I hope that those who want class leader positions to seriously consider this factor. You want to do it for the class or for yourself? I am not trying to give a ‘politically correct’ speech. This is just to sum up how I feel. Moreover, once you are a leader, please do not complain this is a lame job and waste of time. I know people who does that and it irks me. On the whole, I was thankful of this opportunity as a temporary class rep. It gives me many chances to hang out with different groups of people. I think I will just keep sticking to my own clique and not mingled around if not for this.

A simple prayer is so powerful. On Friday night, I prayed before I went to sleep. I was still feeling frustrated then. It is not because of one person; it is the entire event that frustrates me. On Saturday morning, I woke up feeling confident and charged up. I have no idea why I feel this way. This unexplained force. I am thankful of God giving me strength through this period of time. Most importantly, all went well for 24/06 stall. We managed to sell finish everything. This was amazing! =)! Of course, the process is more important than the product. The class did not really bond but when I delegates duties, they will help me out without any complaints. I think I take things for granted and never appreciated this kind of attitude. It was only when I heard this particular class in which different groups of people never do their work, buying food and preparing for them. I heard the class leader worked very hard. I sympathizes her. I know it sucks. It taught me to appreciate 24/06.

After the whole event, I lost my wire extension. It is very expensive and my grandma nearly kills me! So anyone who sees it, please return as I’ve written my name and class on it(thankfully, I did). I am getting worried but somehow reassured(or u call it delusion) that it will be returned? I saw novia. I was surprised she came and looked for me. Gosh. She changed a lot le. Become more chio. Just couldn’t recognize her. The event has ended and went home slept for 4 hrs. I did not know why I am so tired. Not much physical. But the best thing is that I can pon tuition. Haha. Just do not feel like going. =P! Then, tzeyin , emm, gongx and I went out to eat dinner to celebrate shaomin bday. We ate at yoshi. The most important thing is that shaomin is *ahem censored*. I am still a trustworthy friend. Haha. Tzeyin and I began to feel very sad la. What if we never get married? Anyway, it sounds so wrong. Like both of us going to get married.
2 out of the 5 gang is attached liao. I am not in hurry to find a boyfriend but the idea of me remaining single for the rest of my life scares me off. Hopefully, I can accept this notion if not my life will be miserable if I cannot even accept myself. To the people out there, I am not trying to be despo hor. I rather be single than to be in love with the idea of love rather than the person himself. Yup. anw, we ended up taking neosprints after dinner instead of a movie. it was so so so nice and pretty!")!i miss those days tt we hang out together man. really feel that separation pulls us closer.

Anw tt is all. Falling sick tata