always.

Monday, December 19, 2005

oh.just watched project runway.pretty nice.in fact from a viewer point i can fell the immense stress level in the competition.i like the show.like its twists n turns.unlike other reality shows that r getting a bit boring.like america idol n survivor.yawns.the only reality show that still remains its regal would be the amazing race.its like so cool even u only watchin it half-way thru' the season.feelin the x'mas season coming.forgotten the resson i wanna to blog.quite tired of shopping.every1 seem to go overseas except me but i'm not complainin.s'pore not as fun not as gd but still i feel gd.thats the most impt thing aint it?i realise i wanted this hol so much n yet sadly all good things hv to end aint it?it was like a freedom path.a path to let me rest all my burdens i've been carrying since last yr.n how glad m i not to see my class again.but i'm not saying the class not good.i've learnt to grow up, learnt to deal w things alone.n its not so bad.u do not hv to accomadate others.i feel myself once again.no longer the depress n bad-tempered jerlyn.this is a happy n relaxed jerlyn talking to you.i nv feel so satisfied in my life.n i really hope that i'll end up in a class w no competitions in aj.as long as i've a small grp of close frenZ w me.i'm super thankful n glad.thats what the 2 yrs in cedar make up learn-learn to appreciate things which i used to take for granted during my lower sec life.i'll always rem 2/0.so united as a team.no1 is left out.no1 feel left out.that the best class i've ever been thru' out my yrs of edu.i've enjoyed so much n learnt much too.so thankful.there's another lesson i ought to learn now-humbleness.

Friday, December 16, 2005

the 1st real holiday!

oh well.i'm physically tired but not mentally.shop the entire two days w/o findin any clothes i was.but splurge on a black-brown top.nv regret buyin it.now noe how painful to find the right top.quite upset cuZ my chocos r all given away n my pimples start poppin.not juts face but back too. sian.mayb shud take my pimples med regularly which i din cuZ it wld cause kidney failures.-that what i heard from my mother frenZ.so docs out there please do not sue me for destroyin the reputation of the med.thank u.oh well.i've lost so many things for the past few weeks-lip balm,1 pencil, my 'printed out' sudoku puzzles etc.i think i'm too pampered as i do not work.but heck.i just wan to enjoy the hols.n did u guys ever realise it?its the 1st hol w/o hw,tuitons(for most ppl),no fear of the upcomin huge exams n preparin it.it like the 1st time i experience a real holiday.sth thats so rare in s'pore.:P.anyway got the postin to day n go to ajc.which i feel neither joy nor sadness.everything seem so expected that i've nth to hope for.not that i'm grumbling.should be thankful.anyway, i think my eng grammer n vocab r becoming rusty again.sigh.n oh the rainbow connection show.i hate the ending so much.jianyi n yoyo shuld be together!!!!!!!!!not that i hate xiaoqian.n ben n michelle shuld be together.hello he sarcrifice his beloved career n 5 million dollars for that michelle.n xiaoqian is more compactible w david.littat every1's happy right.i demand a rainbow connection II man.lol.just 2 days ago went to watch king kong.its funny,its scares the hell out of me.n its super romantic.but the prob is w me man.i just cnt feel the love betw all the characters.if not i'll give 2 thumbs up on that movie.geeZ.sigh but overall i'll recommend to ppl but some maynot be able to appreciate it cuZ i saw some ppl actually walk out of the cinema half thru' the show which i think its distasteful to a respectable movie like this.k.shall stop rambling.

Friday, December 09, 2005

sighin?

alright dun noe wad to know.i shall then start wads deep inside my thots that none knows.i look @ my face n look @ my left legs.i've beautiful eyes n legs.but wads the point i look ugly becuZ of the scars.1 huge 1.n many dots.i carry these scars everyday in my life.not just physical appearance.scars of my life.i realise y i cant be happy.its my perspective.but i cant help it.i need some1 to counsel me.i'm super serious.not those counsel that make me realise what i lack of n make me feel even more worthless than i am.i know many cant accept cuZ i cant accept meself-some1 who is so ugly,stupid etc.i cant turn my weakness into strengths n i dun know wads my strenths even.everything seem fallin apart.ppl r sick of me gettin depress.but i cant explain these feelings.i really cant.ppl think its stupid cuZ they've nv been thru' what i've gone thru.mayb now i really can understand my mom which i fail to do so.docs say depression can be pass down.well i guess thats y i'm feelin so low.helpless too.wish that some1 cld help me.save me.kk.now lets tok abt events that had happened recently.went out with kush n xiany last wed.didnt know bowlin was so fun n xiany got free games.thats cool.n i've got a strike!!!!!!..ahahha xiany's my lucky star man.when she's not ard, i cant even hit a single pin man.then after that we decided to watch movie.din plan that @ all.its so cool.we watch areon flux.din expect it to be so nice.but xiany din seem to like it.then went seoul n eat for 3hrs..wahahha.saw alicia n a guy n she claims he's her frenZ...(like i'm stupid)..nvm...then watch lights up.funny thing was that each timexiany tries to take a pic it ended up recordin.when we r recordin, yet it was on cam mode n we ended up looking very stupid.ahahaha..wad a nice day in the end!!!!then next few days hv been gg gong hse rentin dvds.quite nice n cheap n her hse got all sort of junkies.no wonder i'm fat.watch elecktra..not very nice as i expected.fantastic 4!!!quite nice n phantom of the opera---thank god there was subtitles or i wld not hv got it esp when the opera singer sang w so much high pitch.i wanted to try but gong don let me...ahahha.next day hv tuition sian.don enjoy it.the teacher is super fast lor.prefer ong slower.more time.more systematic too.but its gd for a change of teacher cuZ i realise to me not many gd teachers end up gd,it keeps changing,hope that miss ho will remain the same standards n i dun wish it to drop like wad happen to miss oh though she's a very nice teacher.went out w suhui the other day.quite fun.though she change a bit n her clothing is very sloppy.ahhahha.but she's got nice skin.so damn jealous man.kk..nth much more exciting in my life i'm looking forward to wed ice-skating!!!!!