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Wednesday, January 19, 2005
wad a fucking day i had

on the eve of my b'day.wow so many fuckings things had happen.n it can be rendered the most unlucky day of my fucking life.i don mean to be rude but i just cant help it.1stly,amaths test is gone case.next i broke my only usable pen.the best fucking moment came when the sitting arrangement is changed.i'm sitting with natalie.wow.i'm so fucking excited.n there were those who were asking where m i sitting was.i know i don exist in my class.even if i die 1 day.no1 will fucking care.i hate my class i realise it now.its not the ppl.but partly cuZ i'm a fucking nobody just like my current sitting partner..wow.i'm so fucking thrilled by the fucking idea.but..whatever the shit la.then after that late for amaths tuition.then went home n mom say i've to eat alone.wow.cuZ we actually planned for a dinner for three to ''celebrate'' my b'day.till i broke down n cry.yup.n i told my mom all abt hating sch.wadever.then my mom in the end agreed that we're three will hv dinner together.wow..i'm so fucking excited abt tmr.i wonder what kind of fucking things will happen to me.i hope some1 can read this.thanks for making that bloody effort.

Sunday, January 09, 2005
boo!

1st wk of sch came n pass.cant even rem wad happen exactly last yr @ this time.arrgh.i guess i don hv much self-discipline.i ended coming online.cant stand my com man!!!!arrgh!!y is it so slow.i pray that this can be uploaded.yup.i think i know wad i want n wad i'm gonna do this.bside o's man.i'm determined to go where i wan to be.n also abt the superficial frenZship.i want to end it.i'm dreading sch everyday.cuZ of *ahem*.i'm not ashamed to do that either.i mean blog is liberal wad.then where u want me to write!?the reason i always partner her is that cuZ i'm afraid i'm alone.i guess that sec 3 i was too emotional.but now i want to BREAKAWAY!!!!!i dun care i'm alone or wadsoever...i think wad most impt in frenZship is that u really noe that person is a frenZ n no matter wad u'll feel like a grp instead of alone.there r others whom i can partner with during joggin etc wad.theres no need to be frenZ with her cuZ i'm alone or wadsoever. N I JUST WANT TO TELL EVERY1 THAT SHE N I R NO BEST FRENZ,OH PLS THANK YOU.i specifically mean some1 in my class.i guess that kind of obvious who she is.i noe my close frenZ who saw this wont mind cuZ i guess they'll heard me complainin abt her.but still i'm dreading sch everyday cuZ of her.arrgh.cant she stop following me.i want my own life.this is my last yr in cedar already.i want to do my best in my studies(cuZ of o's) n also dun want to regret abt frenZship stuff.so yup.I HATE HER A LOT N ALOT.but i'm not gonna let her affect me!boo!n i don want to be a crybaby anymore.i don see the use of crying.u hv to be strong man.nobody will go aww...wadever or shit so yup.anyway that person is downright irritating n i daresay every1 dislike her in 1 way n amother.i also think she's affecting my social life.so yup!anyway its gongZ b'day tmr!!!!!!!!yay!!!!i'm so happy for her n oh i hope i can pon tuition n also hope that somethings can work out.plZ GOD.i'm praying...

Sunday, January 02, 2005
1st jan 2005

i'm just feeling sad for no reasons again.i think its the after effect of watchin meet the parents.actually there r so little comedies that can make me laugh nowadays.i'm such a sadistic person.i think meet the parents is such a sadistic show.cuZ it like making fun of greg(ben stiller) who looks like a total loser.it sort of open the door of my insecurities.ok this sucks.but i'm not prepared of sec4 life.i think it'll kill me somehow.somehow i always picture myself holding the o's results crying cuZ i got 20 pts n i cant go into the jc i dream.i don now y.but it sucks.i know i need hard work in order to survive.but i cant even survive the idea that i'm having o's.so yup.i think i'm a sadistic person.hmm.but nevertheless i'm looking forward to sch.n my chi 3d thingy doesnt look exactly it shuld be.but its ok.@ least i did sth.i hope n pray i can get @ least 5/10.i mean @ least i pass.i like the day after tmr.jake gyllenhaal is hot.hehe.well i din regret renting the movie after all.hmm.