always.

Friday, December 31, 2004

a sad new yr.

hmm.today is 31st dec.but i personally felt the world has changed.i've no idea y m i feeling so sad or wadsoever.must be the earthquake that had a tremendulous impact on me.i don get y m i here enjoying the luxury of hving a com whilst many others r suffering.hmm.thats the part of live i don get it.i'm now hving internal self-conflict agst religion.i felt i'm a selfish person who only pray when i need assurance.n the reason i'm hving self-conflict righht @ that moment when i saw so many has died in earthquake.i know life n death is predestinated.but i don get y those who shud not be suffering is still suffering.though i know that every1 is.but compare our situation.i cant help but roll my eyes when i read the article that the geologists of thailand din inform the coming of earthquake though they knew there was.don they noe the phrase better be safe than sorry?n their excuse?we were afraid it was a false alarm thus it'll hurt the tourisms.wad the...how many lives cld be saved.don they noe?hmm.n the weather cant be any better.it was raining like shit.today new yr eve shud hv nation countdown but for the memory of the deaths.there will be no broadcast but the party will still be on.but seeing the bad weather makes me wonder if the party will be cancelled off?i din its fair if its cancelled off altogether!i went to rent movie.actually prefer a comedy like 13 going on 30.unfortunately it was rent out n i was thinking of renting the day after tmr which i regret a lot cuZ the movie is abt flooding.make me only more sad?hmm..ok.my aim for 2004 was not to fail any subjects.i din really achieve it cuZ i've failed twice for amaths n once for phy.hmm..but overall i'm quite satisfied.2004 was an emotional yr i think.hmm.yup.hmm.i was feeling extremely down just now but feel better right now.while yesterday i was feeling extremely low but somehow i felt God's presence.i'm sorry to say i believe in one n only lord but i do hv doubts in jesus.i think xinli is right bible is a man's bk after all.not god's bk.hmm..i think dan brown is right faith is an illustion but it makes man a better person.but now there is often wars which was sparked by religious.then i think otherwise.hmm.2004 an eventful yr but i'm thankful i've survive.to think i'm going to be 16 soon makes me feel terrified.hmm.cuZ it means i'm older n there's sth call o's n mostly the end of yr means end of cedar.i've this dreadful insight that i'm going to get very bad o's results man.sigh.ok thats all.!