always.

Friday, December 31, 2004

a sad new yr.

hmm.today is 31st dec.but i personally felt the world has changed.i've no idea y m i feeling so sad or wadsoever.must be the earthquake that had a tremendulous impact on me.i don get y m i here enjoying the luxury of hving a com whilst many others r suffering.hmm.thats the part of live i don get it.i'm now hving internal self-conflict agst religion.i felt i'm a selfish person who only pray when i need assurance.n the reason i'm hving self-conflict righht @ that moment when i saw so many has died in earthquake.i know life n death is predestinated.but i don get y those who shud not be suffering is still suffering.though i know that every1 is.but compare our situation.i cant help but roll my eyes when i read the article that the geologists of thailand din inform the coming of earthquake though they knew there was.don they noe the phrase better be safe than sorry?n their excuse?we were afraid it was a false alarm thus it'll hurt the tourisms.wad the...how many lives cld be saved.don they noe?hmm.n the weather cant be any better.it was raining like shit.today new yr eve shud hv nation countdown but for the memory of the deaths.there will be no broadcast but the party will still be on.but seeing the bad weather makes me wonder if the party will be cancelled off?i din its fair if its cancelled off altogether!i went to rent movie.actually prefer a comedy like 13 going on 30.unfortunately it was rent out n i was thinking of renting the day after tmr which i regret a lot cuZ the movie is abt flooding.make me only more sad?hmm..ok.my aim for 2004 was not to fail any subjects.i din really achieve it cuZ i've failed twice for amaths n once for phy.hmm..but overall i'm quite satisfied.2004 was an emotional yr i think.hmm.yup.hmm.i was feeling extremely down just now but feel better right now.while yesterday i was feeling extremely low but somehow i felt God's presence.i'm sorry to say i believe in one n only lord but i do hv doubts in jesus.i think xinli is right bible is a man's bk after all.not god's bk.hmm..i think dan brown is right faith is an illustion but it makes man a better person.but now there is often wars which was sparked by religious.then i think otherwise.hmm.2004 an eventful yr but i'm thankful i've survive.to think i'm going to be 16 soon makes me feel terrified.hmm.cuZ it means i'm older n there's sth call o's n mostly the end of yr means end of cedar.i've this dreadful insight that i'm going to get very bad o's results man.sigh.ok thats all.!

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

x'mas eve!

x'mas eve: went to my cousin hse with anticipation but arrive there with sort of dread.din noe that her guy frenZ was there.call me intimated by him or what.i juZ don feel like tokin to a stranger moreover a guy.later i sound like some desperate gurl how?i rather act dumb n not tok.hmm.then i stay with the kids n use germaine n ruiyan com n play for a while.kian long voice break liao.wooZ!so fast..hmm.then oih nv realise ruiyan was such a neat freak.very funny n cute.the way i saw him flare up his temper when he scream dun sit onto my pillow n no littering on my bed!.hehe.ok.then later kian hai n genevis decide to go orchard.ok so i tag along.then kanna spray by artificial snow so many times along the streets.but quite a lifetime experience ba.the countdown is not really wad i've expected.i thot every1 will shout ''3,2,1'' thingy but there was none.hmm.then went to take neoprint.show the neoprints to ty xinli n sm n they say jia jia look like gladys.hehe.okyar.then went home.realise there no bus 139 anymore then take taxi.there was long queue at the taxi stand @ tp.i think they abit stupid le.y don wanna go orchard.cuZ there was a lot of ppl.but nevertheless i'm glad that there was transport home..ok then the driver din realli drive up to the destination i want.a bit shorter.cuZ he wants to get another passenger.feeling so nice,i allow.but the feeling walking up my hse alone was terrifying.hmm.but its x'mas shuld be nice.but it was scary later mom was @ the bus-stop.hmm.ok thats all for x'mas eve.

x'mas day itself!

ok here i go.boo!x'mas day itseld.wait for gongs @ eunos mrt station very long le.lol..gongZ ar...then later.me n shaomin n ty decide to go ahead w/o gongZ.then we went there.buy mac then sit on the stone very nice weather in fact very refreshing.n even though ty n sm was with me.i cld feel i'm hving my own time alone which is gd.hmm.then i start reading the da vinci code by dan brown.omg!it was so fascinating.though cost me a bomb but still i felt it was worth it.i'm looking forward to renting his bks.hmm.i think the bk is quite nice in the way that it say faith is an illustration but it makes ppl a better man.i cant help but agree with it.n so gong arrive n she strip.lol.omg!her gongZ r damn big.dun she feel tight.hmm.hehe.ok so gong sewing her cosplay thingy.n ty just sit there n slp.n me n sm went cycling which was tiring.anyway.not a nice day to cycle.cuZ there was lots of ppl n i cant cycle that well anyway.so yup.nearly bump with a lot of ppl n hate those cyclist that ring that stupid bell for like nth?then got this this person don noe wads an opp lane is it?cycle to wards me somemore.if not i tried to divert that asshole n me will not be 1 piece.in addition that place was rather secluded cuZ i travelled too far already.hmm.n this person who was riding with the baby n her husband was walking the left side n she was riding on the central itself .n tell me how to overtake n ride?cuZ the ride side was filled with cyclist in the opp directions.knowing i'm not a gd riders.but i still hv to take the risks.sigh.yar.then after that we went cafe cartel n met the rest of guides.huihui zihui emm wanru wanling valerie.hmm.wanling got this huge present(wonder HOW she got it) or maby she was going to give a frenZ but thats a bit not possible cuZ it was so late.like 9++pm when we met them.i read dan brown bk n every clue that was given has double meanings.i wonder those who read this understand my true intentions.hmm.ok.yar.then we ate a lot.actually so much that each of us wanna to vomit.cept sm doesnt look like.she actually finish her pasta.which was like wow cuZ she've got small appertice.so yup.hmm.then after that sm went with gong to rachel hse then me n ty stay @ cafe cartel.then we went home together.

Friday, December 24, 2004

miss lim wedding

it was totally fabulous.i mean the wedding.ms lim invited all the secs 3s guides to her wedding.simple funny n totally cool.this is like my 1st time being in a teacher wedding.kinda of surprise that she din invite our secs4s hmm.she also invited 3h n 4s.n the chapel was quite big to hold all of us.she wore a bare-bk.n can see her tan la.lol.as what shaomin said.hmm.she look great!n oh the person who tok i forget wads his name was damn funny.that guy that intro all the chi character.ms lim or shuld we now call her mrs woo's husband mr woo is err..balding.the funny part was that gong thot the person was ms lim father.v bad la.i don think he's that old.mayb hes just too stress up n bad genes?but i cant tell that they r great couple.don noe how to describe this feelings.but wish them a blissful marriage.hmm n the lunch reception was fabulous!!lol.how i wish we're invited to the dinner...
then after that we(me alicia gongZ n shaomin) went j8 to take neoprint n walk walk a bit.then me n alicia left 1st.so yup.tats all for the day!

Thursday, December 23, 2004

bOo!!!

ok i shall blog n pray hard that it'll be uploaded.ok hmm i'm going roughly summarise the best few wks?start with amaths diagnostic test.if i noe i wld not study except of EOY exams.but i think in my heart i knew the paper was going to follow EOY exams.so i din really study the others cept 4 formulae.surprised that i'm quite calm thru'out the test.the only q i din do is the last graph q which cost me 2 mks.hving experience of leaving so many blanks n lost so much marks.i think it was acceptable.i did not really bothered abt the every mark count.in fact i went to exams hall thinking if i can pass thats a feat din even bother to score a distinction.but the downside is that i ended up anyhow do.n i mean it after the paper every1 was checking ans.n i saw their sketched graphs r do damn neat la so unlike mine handdrawn de.so i hope that i can score well despite that.may god bless me.n oh i wanting to shit thru out the entire paper must be result frm the coldness n regret not bringing the windbreaker.sigh thats all n in the end went out with ty n shaomin to town cuZ they wanna to buy x'mas stuff n b'day pressie n we took neo prints.no bad la cept that next time i shuld clip my hair.sort of feel bad that i din let ty deco.sorry girl!

Monday, December 13, 2004

nth much

hmm nth much.just think that mom's craZy.she kept thinkin that ppl want to spy onto her.think she's realli nuts.ok.hmm.came bk from guides camp.then got really sick.then now just recover.guides camp nth much ba.just littat lor.quite boring.just don hv the strength to blog.nth much.except that today went for phy tuition a bit sad.ok not a bit.quite a lot.i mean.sigh.only i know what i mean.ok.i felt really damn horrible.k.?the worst ever feeling is that u can nv get the feeling out of ur chest.i nv felt that strongly b4.like hello.no point telling ur best frenZ cuZ u told them once n if u tel them again.there's like no diff to them.most imptly must tel the person who shuld noe abt these feelings.i'm toking crap eh!?anyway.just really damn sad!?don noe what words to use either.i wish the person hv the courage.cuZ i don hv.sigh.anyway.i'm crapping again.being in the same grp with wanru n jean in gutsy was fun.esp hearing all sorts of lame jokes from wanru.but then sometimes i do feel rather alone.withdrawn.ok.hmm.then oh..taufik won!i'm so glad!i voted for him 5 times.hehe.don think the fone bill will be high ba.the song*me n mrs jones* is so well done.i'm nearly in tears.it sound aso wow.but actually i think hor jessea shuld hv been the s'pore idol.she wld be the best to rep us on world idol.sad la.ok ba.thats all.just blog these to make up those times that i din blog!!