always.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

i'm confused

have the survey thingy thingy.think its all about finding yourself more.but i think i'm in conflict with myself because everything seem the same to me.i'm confused.really.but it say that the inner most of myself is actually socialable although i don think so.funny.okthe 1st test was rather alright but the 2nd was a total screw up n oh read bella entry.its sth abt sendin ritZ off!?i'm confused thot that i justs saw her a few days ago.is she just off for hol or wad?i'm very scared that she have moved out of singapore permanently.y din she tell?y m i so lazy n hardly went up n see my frenZ.geeZ.i'm torn apart.i'm sad.alright.ritz is a great frenZ.without her i'm still a loner.n oh came up today n saw ty in pissin mood.haiZ...n oh durin this DISC course.i kinda of get freak up by this person.but yar she always did.so yar.hmm i've got nth much to say except that yesterday went n scream n yell @ mom cuZ she started the y din i study.i don see the point of studyin since i got higher for not studyin but because i've got a gd teacher n for studyin n yet got a lousy teacher(no..mr goh is a great teacher.but having too many relief teachers n hv being exposed diff mtds of learnin.so yar.i'm very lost).so yar..i tried very hard for amaths n i did alright!?i drop from a1 to e8!its like hello!?no matter how hard maths paper is i nv failed but i've been failin like shit now!?this showed that in sec3 teachers do really play a great role in exams results it not just abt the stu workin hard cuZ i really did.sigh..n oh wanna go home but din.just lingering for a while more.just get too upset in life.see xianny so busy.she look very tired n drained out if i can say.for me i'm too relax.i want to find the purpose of life n i really do.i want to do things that i really wanted to.mayb i cld work n dance n study @ the same time.thats my aim for the hol.hmm.i just want to make use of youth but i just don hv the motivation to do so.save me.i want to believe in GOD.but i have doubts.cuZ they say only believe in christ then can u b near to god.but i just cant explain.i don noe how to.but now whatever la.just gonna end here.