tHiS iS mY |iFe, nOt YoURs~

2010-10-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I think university people just think too much.

I definitely enjoyed studying sociology.

I definitely enjoyed reading quotes that gives me faith, hope and love in humanity.

Why? Because it is intellectually stimulating and it can reconcile what we feel about the reality.

BUT, few would go down and plow through it to really bring faith, hope and love.

For that, I am really grateful to Pastors

2010-10-12T08:27:00.000-07:00

I am annoyed with Singapore Media.

Let me explain my reasons.

If you read today's newspaper about Olivia Cho's slimming advertisement.

You realise it wrote there that 'the before photo' was taken in May this year.

However, the photo was obviously taken years ago after her Idol win and I remembered it because there was the big hullabaloo of her undergoing slimming treatment.

Come on people, don't be deceived by the press and the image of slimming. -.-

Also for the swimming sports issue, I am sure the media loves to sensationalize the most trivial comment. I am sure the president and the coach did not feel guilty enough over the issue and the whole media sensationalise when the president said it was okay. The fact was it was okay but what was the president tone and what was his heart? Perhaps he wants to get over the whole issue? Maybe he did not want Ang to feel bad as he already had?

(Perhaps they don't feel guilty at all, I am not saying I am correct because I do not understand but I just feel there is an alternative of view.)

Singapore press needs to stop thinking they are superior in their thoughts. It is like an elitist mindset.

Please, critical thinking is not to criticise only, it is to THINK through all the perspectives and stick with 1 stand and write about it. We need to be responsible writers; find out what's wrong and find solutions and move on. The irony is that if we don't train up critical thinkers, stop complaining that we are complainers.

And yes, it irks me so much that I started blogging about it.

2010-07-23T02:44:00.000-07:00

My "internship" is just about to end. (:
I felt as if I had a live sociology lesson. I think I can do thesis on sociology of work, place and power. It is interesting to observe people, playing the dirty game and wonder why they work 24 hours and 48 hours and had so much passion in their jobs. ( The latest I found out is that they fell in love and progressing.)

All I can say I have been cheated and manipulated.
But what do you do when you are cheated and manipulated?
You just go back to being pure and go back to God and most importantly guard your heart.
Otherwise, there is higher possibility you ended up like one of them.

The recent guidelines on restriction of religious use on commerical space?
It made me realise just one thing: laws can be changed overnight people.
Don't be foolish because you are not safe as long as the laws can be changed as long as those who held power.

2010-05-22T10:39:00.000-07:00

Been quite a while since I have been away.

I know this is crazy but I really love my life!!

God has been so great and faithful.

Life after exams has been doing the things I love and everything was so timely!! (:

1. Liked Pstor How Gen Y sermon. (: The choices you chose determine your life. Not gg to be swept away by the current of life and just following what is the common or norm. I know what I want to do and love to do!

2. Had a chat with Pstor Lia and after the chat and the sermon last week, I felt really assured and loved by my Pstor. Felt everything just fall so nicely in place and I began to see the bigger picture in my life.

3. Lucky to get a job to help GE where I could play wii at Marina Bay Sands for 3 days and getting paid $8/hr. Long story period.

4. All the good food with friends such as tty,ray, and late night prata house with cheewee, walter and company (:

5. Found good friends like Joyce Chua and YueYing. We see each other when we need company to run, when we are talking about our people or even when church needs us to pack goodie bags. Haha! (:

4. Getting an internship and starting next week despite busy serving God after exams. It was so timely.

5. Going for integration outings, doing people work and talking to sec1 makes me ((:

Winson asked, "Jerlyn are you going to stay in this church forever? Like ever and ever forever?"

I said, "Yes. Of course, What about you?"

And he replied," Yes, I will too. Forever and ever"

Now, you know why my heart melts and what makes it melt.

Sweet, I love my life. ((:

2010-05-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

I don't really like my blog now because it is messy.

I read some of my previous blog posts.

Some things have changed, people have changed, but some things still remained.

I love God, I love Pstors, I love life. (:

2010-04-26T18:26:00.001-07:00

The seaweed is always greener
In somebody else’s lake
You dream about going up there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the world around you
Right here on the ocean floor
Such wonderful things surround you
What more is you lookin’ for?

Under the Sea..Under the Sea...

2010-04-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

I love my life!

So weird not seeing Cherie/Alvi/Wanting/Gabs/Polly for 2 days. I feel so weird! Haha.

2010-04-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

You know why communism failed in reality?

Because communism is a philosophy that was birthed out from a man who was insecure.

Why I say so?

This man was jealous that he could not be successful

(It does not mean I do not sympathize his plight that as an academic, he was earning peanuts and not well-respected as the academics are today.)

and that explained why he dreamt of a utopia where everyone can be equal (which I believe there is nothing wrong with it? Who does not dream for a greater humanity? A man with no dreams shall perish as I myself can testify it.)

However, I do not know whether it was the communist "revolutionarists" who misintepreted his ideology but it turned out in reality everyone was wishing they will be happier being equally poor.

That is the part of ideology which I strongly disagree.

It is like since I cannot be successful mentality, I want everyone to be equally worse off as me.

So you get the gist why I say it is an insecure philosophy?

(I stand here being corrected as I do not claimed to be a sociology major, neither do I really know what was the state of Karl Marx's mind when he wrote that or if he was being misintepreted over the years. Who knows he was refering to an ideology of being equally rich?)

I believe the like-minded people will attract like-minded people.

Afterall, humans are just instinctly bonded with common interests.

(That is a pretty interesting human behavior I would like to explore one day.)

Thus, this insecure theory attract the like-minded people-the insecure people.

Before I continue, people may perhaps think that I am some communism-bashing democratic woman and that my argument seems to be really childish (from an academic's point of view); childish in the sense I cannot really substantiate my evidences and critics would probably summarise my argument that communism=insecurities by now.

Please do not get me wrong.

Who can say inside capitalism, there is no insecurities?

I think it surfaced even more so in our capitalistic societies!

Ever feel jealous when you see your best friend doing better academically in school than you?

Mind you, I am not refering to your enemy, your own best friend!

Or that little tinge that you want to be happy for your friend who clinched leadership position in any organisations:churches/schools/CCAs etc but you feel disgusted the insecurities that welled up inside of you.

Or when you see your relatives doing better than you financially due to recent promotions or business prosperity and you go, in Singapore rat race context, aiya, sian! why not me?

Then, we start saying the person do not deserve it because of his weaknesses. (That is the disgusting part of insecurities which I presume everyone hate and yet we cannot bring ourselves out of it.)

Who can claimed we are perfect in the first place?

My sociology lecture once mentioned that the failure of government is due to the failure of ideologies.

To me, the failure of ideologies is due to failure of men.

I think Karl Marx really has some great ideas intellectually speaking but the spirit was just all so wrong.

We are all inherently selfish/insecure. No matter what ideologies we birth out, be it communism or capitalism, it bound to "fail" by the world standard of failure.

Insecurities kill people.

Not just emotionally, spiritually but literally;

as you can see in the consequences of history.

Before people accursed me of being an elitist, uncaring product of Singapore meritocratic system,

I would like to state that I too have my dreams, I dream that everyone can be equally rich, where everyone is secure of our achievements and do not have to put people down.

DPM makes a good point in recent ministeral forum,

"We can make everyone better off (in terms of economic goods) in society, but we can never make everyone more happy."

Come on people, let start a new revolution today: Fight insecurities!

If Karl Marx can have his theory, so can we.

If his theory can survive a few decades, we can too.

Pardon for my poor English. Please feel free to comment.

2010-04-02T10:28:00.001-07:00

Took this from kek's note, you know I do not post a long post because simply I am too lazy. Haha!
Was so impacted when I see how God really moved into her life, she is someone who came from buddhist background, bad experiences with Christians, do not believe in God.
She is only a christian since jan and whatever she shared was just so deep!
Glad to have idealistic friends like her man!

Here is an article I read from a table calendar=) Coz today is the first day of the month, so when i flipped the calendar, I saw this=)

Going Round In Circles

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several yellow fin tuna.

The banker complimented the fisherman and asked how long it took to catch them. The fisherman replied, 'Only a little while'

The banker asked, 'Why don't u fish longer and catch more fish?'. The fisherman replied, 'With this I have enough to support my family.'

The banker asked, 'What do you do with the rest of your time?'. The fisherman replied, 'I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village every evening, sip wine and play guitar with my amigos.'

The banker suggested to the fisherman to spend more time fishing, earn more and buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, buy several boats. 'Eventually you'll have a fleet of bots. Instead of selling your catch to the middleman, you could sell it directly to the processor, eventually open your own cannery. You would control the processing and distribution. You would then have to leave this small coastal village and move to the city where you will run your expanding business.'

'Then after that?', asked the fisherman. The banker laughed,'When the time comes, you could sell your company stock and become very rich.' 'After that?' The banker replied, 'Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal village, sleep late. fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll the village in the evening, sip wine and play guitar with your amigos.'

Sometimes it's best to be contented. There are 2 things to aim in life: first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second. ~Logan Pearshall Smith~

P.S.
We are often get caught in this paradigm, the society expectation of our generation, our life. There is no way that we can deny that our mind is shaped by the tradition, culture and expectation in this society. When we were young, we were put into this rigid education system that we were often only exposed to the thing that the government/immature adults want us to do. Our life is often aligned with the vision of the nation. Do we have a choice? NO. Sometimes, yes, it seems like we have a choice in this little box that we live=) We can choose the subjects that we wanted to study, the school that we wanted to go, or even work (e.g. choose one of the big 4 accountacy firm), and life partner (must be partner that is from same society level, i.e. a degree holder at least) but is that all? Aren't these all fall within the expectation of the society? We are not given the liberty to choose, instead, we are force to choose~ Yes, this society expectation is quite reliable to some extend becoz it gives us secure future, less invariability, security in comfort zone, be a patriotic child, but when you take the first step and go beyond this tiny little box, you'll realised that the world is so big that there are more other choices that we can choose, BIG choices for our BIG life! Just like the story above, the banker was caught in this paradigm that he never realised that he is going round in circles.. Do not get caught by this circle, my dear friend=) Live the life of a fisherman.. u have enuf for all that you need to live for now (if not, u might have been dead)!!

Do you believe God has a greater plan for you than the plan that you have for yourself=) Everyone is called to play different role by God.AMEN! but here is the problem... how many actually do what God asked us to do? Even Moses failed to follow when God asked him to 'SPEAK' instead of 'HIT'(Numbers 20:8)~ hahahha.. many asked 'Does God talk to us? Is there any website called TalkingGod.com, or is there any phone number that we can call so that we noe wad God has for us, or even a msn contact?' Even for believers.. like wad pastor said today, we may drift out of God's provision and lead a life of our own, an earthly and material life. When we sometimes faced with a decision-making situation, we will evaluate and LISTEN from others rather than our own voice, the little voice that live within us=) We often choose to believe in earthly words too much, rather than heavenly words. We commonly listened to the government new economic policy and align our life with it, so that we may benefit from it... or stimes when our teachers say that education is good (even they can't convinced themselves after going thru the decade of suffering), we follow their words.. All these put us in our comfort zone, rather than our dreams. Too many times we are looking for COMFORT instead of our dreams and the words and plans that God has for us=) (courtesy of Jerlyn's Blog=) )

While you are still young and you have the choice to choose, choose wisely. Happiness is a choice, but not a treasure that you gotta keep seeking in life=) And the true happiness has already been found, for you already have God living in your heart. What is happier than happiness, when the true joy comes from within. Be contented=)

-Every light that u see is a Rainbow, you just gotta diffract your mind slightly & everything will then look so Beautiful~ Life is beautiful if u know how to live-

smile,
kEK

2010-03-29T23:02:00.000-07:00

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

As long as you dream, there bound to be failures and disappointments and discouragements. Because if not, you will never have hope in your life.

I think where-ever you go, you will face discouragements and disappointments, be it in church or in the world. When we faced them, we tend to run to the other side for comfort. Too many times we are looking for comfort instead of our dreams.

What are you looking for today?

2010-03-27T09:59:00.001-07:00

These are the books I am going to FINISH (yea..finish is the key point) after my exams.

-Have a little faith Mitch Albom

-Good Morning Holy Spirit Benny Hinn

-The Annointing Phil Pringle

-Successful Cell Groups by Cho Yonggi

-The Screwtape letters by C.S Lewis

-The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S Lewis

-The Stars Shine down by Sidney Sheldon

-The Audacity of Hope by Obama Barack

Others books after that I am going to read:

-Outliers by Malcom Gladwell

-Fear of the Lord by John Bevere

-Battle of the minds (no idea the author but must be a good book if Polly recommends it! haha)

Yea, I am writing down so that everyone will remind/jab/ask me to complete it. Haha.

2010-03-23T09:07:00.001-07:00

If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.
— Peace Pilgrim

((:!

Because the power of your thought can create. Imagine it now. What you thought is what it can be and will be. Be it bad or good. Then you will just go "wow!".

2010-03-21T20:43:00.001-07:00

Missed Pstors! Know he is going to preach an awesome word at Christian Cultural Centre!

This is some of the crazy things we do when we love our pstors! Haha.

Felt so loved, Pollyna actually bought me Have a little faith by Mitch Albom because I mentioned it somewhere in Facebook I wanted to read.

Had Kinder Surprise, never felt so loved in my love.

Not to mention so many other stuff!!

Love God, love people, love life ((:

2010-03-19T07:31:00.000-07:00

Had a good time with Kris before she flew back to Korea.
Gonna miss her so much.
Just realise how much we are alike today! Haha.
We are both crazy girls who love to eat so much!

After the brief meet-up, went off shopping alone for a while.
Love to shop alone.
I was on the streets and this group of MGS girls gave me a rose.
Found out they were doing Lit project to spread some happiness.
I was just touched because when I see them!!
I see idealism in their eyes.
I see purity because they just want to love people with no strings attached.
The rose was not your normal rose, it was China rose and I know it cost a lot!
Out of their pockets, they decided to buy the roses and spread some happiness.
Then, 1 girl asked me what is happiness to you?
I replied, happiness is being simple. (:

I cannot describe more.

2010-03-14T23:29:00.000-07:00

Many has no problems starting somethings;a dream, a job, a relationship

But, many have problems remain faithful to that something till the end.

2010-03-13T10:27:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt

1) You are never good enough?

2) You are never pretty/handsome enough?

3) Your grades are never good enough?

4) You are never rich enough?

5) You are not spiritual enough?

6) You are not hardworking enough?

7) You do not have enough good character?

Rather to be a slave to that mentality, I am rather thankful knowing that I am not good enough, yet my grandma, my mother, my pstors always gave me the best. (:

That's why I love life. (:

2010-03-08T20:37:00.001-08:00

Following Jack Neo's scandal,

Now, my mother is saying

not all Christian guys are good guys (I agree!)

not all Buddhist/Freethinker guys are bad guys (And I never think they are bad, if not I would not have been tempted before right?)

and her conclusion is that I should loosen my criteria to find the special someone.

Sometimes, it is not a religious thing

but this is the way I want to do my life.

If I can find a guy who can love and serve God passionately,

(and nope, not just a normal sunday christian.

It is not even about christianity, it about God.)

that's great.

But if I do not,

I do not want to spend the best years of my life

clearing an emotional mess of a broken marriage.

Before people inferred it as marry a non-christian guy means will result a broken marriage.

This is not what I meant.

Because marrying a christian guy can lead to dysfunctional family too.

What I meant is if there is no one,

I would live and love my life with the benefits of singlehood then. (:

I will just be where God wants me to be.

When I read news of Elim Chew, I cannot help but say she has the annointing of business in her life.

Sidetrack, because I am so interested in business/finance/econs these days while applying for internship.

2010-03-08T20:21:00.000-08:00

I wake up this morning feeling so happy that I am living my dreams: loving God, loving people, loving life! (:

How many people can say they really love life? ((:

I always feel inspired after talking to Weiling.

"Why not do both?" It kept ringing inside my head now.

Jack neo's scandal, it taught me one thing

Character will last, it will not be your looks or abilities.

And looking at the 22 year old model, I feel pretty sad for her.

It struck a chord because she is my age.

This is the best years of her life.

What are you doing with the best years of your life?

2010-03-06T20:08:00.000-08:00

Felt so inspired when I read the headline news today:

City Harvest gg to Suntec!

I know many people may dislike and disagree with CHC,

and I formerly too,

but give a chance to know the true strength people of CHC,

you will know why they are so different. ((:

I see how they plough for the last 20 years to be where they are today.

All the sacrifices, all the storm, all the faithfulness

just to see their dreams are coming to past.

I thought it was amazing.

People may laugh at our dreams, but dreams have finally become reality.

Let be a strong generation of people who will stand by Pstors (:

2010-03-03T09:35:00.000-08:00

love is not a hypocrite.

love is not a job.

Would you do a job that you do not get paid for?

You don't get paid to love people.

2010-02-21T07:44:00.000-08:00

Writing cards can give you revelation.

I realise I love to do cards, miss those old days where Fiona and I were bday coodinators!

HA! Cannot believe it right, but yea we were birthday coordinators and we had so much fun.

Back then, we even have shopping trips to buy present for people and I remember I love it a lot because the CG will go together to get the stuff.

Sometimes in life, it is not about being the best in school, in hall, in CCA, in church or in anything that you are doing.

If you are the best, then go ahead and be the best but I am talking normal people like you and me.

What is success without love?

It will be a sprinter who won the race 1st but have no friends to celebrate.

Of course, it does not mean that you are deluded and not give your personal excellence in the things you do.

Because personal excellence is for people to see God through your character even during the times without success.

Having success does not mean you have personal excellence.

But having personal excellence will one day lead you to have success.

Then how do you explain why some people can have so much personal excellence and still not achieve success?

While all I can say success in the world is fleeting but personal excellence will stay.

So seek personal excellence but not success.

Personal excellence is not just work hard, it is also working smart.

Personal excellence will not just bring you to complete your task but it brings to complete your task well with a smile all this while with no one seeing it.

2010-02-19T17:44:00.000-08:00

Had so much fun at Yiting 21st bday! (:

We went modesto restaurant,

had an impromptu speech for the pretty birthday girl,

received a card from yt (it was so pretty!!) and I feel so guilty I have yet to make one. Haha. then stayed at vivo city rooftop playing sparklers,

dipping our feet into the water that we cannot see how dirty it is,

camwhoring,

celebrating with Ian's home baked cheesecake,

keep getting chase out by the security,

being told by the security if we want to hang out then we should go another plaza nearby (it is St James Power, do not know how it become a plaza. HA!)

Reached home at 2am, mom nearly kicked a fit!

Haha, but I guess in the end we really enjoyed ourselves because of all the company there and there was Serene, Joy, Ariana, Joyce Chua, Esmonde, Ian, KC, Peck, Kek, Louisa, Yue Ying and of course the birthday girl herself.

KC and Esmonde love story is getting more interesting. Haha.

Hitch a ride on Ian's car with Yt and serene.

We all just stone in the car ride. HA!

To be honest, I have no idea how did Yiting and I became close,

it must be a strange twist of fate! (:

2010-02-12T17:23:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh!! I wish I do not have curfew!

My zone went to watch Valentine Day with Dominic after reunion dinner!!

So, Cherie Walter, Alvi and Polly has a date without me. ):

Who wants to watch with me still? Haha.

And I did not wake up early to help my gran past dma today.

Shoot me! Bang Bang Bang!

Yea, I was sad that I did not catch the movie

but I went home helping out with my grandma.

To be honest, my heart belongs to elsewhere recently.

And that she keep repeating the same old stories of her,

it is really boring and dry. (Trust me, I have heard it since I was young)

But this is love, isnt it?

Love is a commitment.

Love is a promise to remain faithful even when it is dry and boring.

What Ivan shared on Twitter is cool,

Maturity is being able to remain faithful to ur commitmnts long aft e "feeling" is gone! Live abve e influence of ur feelings.

I call this Mature Love.

I still love her when I kiss her good nights on the cheeks.

(: (:

Had some time alone and thoughts to myself on Fri morning while catching up tut,

I thought I got to fiercely protect what and who I love and what I dream.

Because if your dreams and love can be so easily taken away, then perhaps it is not your dreams and love after all.

While I watched The Imaginarium with Ray, Endi and Sab the other day,

I thought you cannot name a price for your dreams.

They are priceless.

And the same goes for love too.

What Cherie shared was so true, I realise I am a person who is serious for life.

That is why I am so calculative with my time.

That is why I feel so vexed if I do not reap what I invested.

I thought how pretty amazing it is the my leader is actually younger than me. (: (:

She led me when she was 14 and I was 17.

And she is still leading me when she is 18 and I am now 21.

Pretty cool huh? We really grew up together. (: (:

Cherie is amazing because in everything she does, she do her best, even in the smallest things.

That is personal excellence.

It is sweet that while I was out eating dinner with my friends and Fifi saw me at Bukit Timah

and texted me "hey i saw you. haha!"

To me, it was sweet because I never felt so close to my leaders until now.

I mean I will never imagine a zone leader from another zone to text me.

It is always the smallest things.

It is always the relationships. (: (:

I cannot imagine how Pastors and leaders feel

when each time people walk out

and yet they still continue loving people.

Sometimes, you just got to realise we really do not deserve their love and time.

Who am I really?

To me, it is just so hard to continue loving when it failed.

In monetary sense, it is so hard to keep investing a stock that keep makes you lose money.

Imagine the broken trust.

That is why got to fiercely protect your idealism. (:

What a long post, most people probably find it boring.

2010-02-11T07:12:00.000-08:00

No more self-pity, no more self-righteous.

If you want to have something you never have before, you got to do something you never done before.

Let's all not be small-people.

2010-02-01T18:04:00.000-08:00

We are too consumed in our own worlds

but your heart can only take 1 thing at a time.

It is no longer what is on your heart.

But who is on your heart?

Let Love takes a hold of my heart.

Faith. Hope. Love.

And the greatest of them is Love.

2010-01-28T05:46:00.000-08:00

I know this is pretty late to post my 21st birthday celebrations. Haha!

Thanks for every single one of your effort for making it sweet and memorable.

I am truly the most loved 21 year old around. ((:

It is really not the big birthday bash that makes me happy, it is the smallest thing, really!

All the sms from Emmy, Joy, Hongchia, Jiaxin Twinnie, Tracy, Ahma, Nicole, Celine, Tzeyin, Cherie, KS, Aaron, Gabrielle, Ruoen, Lucinda, Deanniee, Weiling, Cia, Jehanne, Jeremy Lim, Colin, Gurvin, Kat, Priska, Audrey/Chanel/Beryl (internal joke..haha), Yiting, Sabrina, Yvonne, LYNETTE!!, Esther, Polly, Shaomin, Maggie, Huiying, Beston, Wanting, Tony, Gerard, Pin Yew, Yu Ding, Fiona, Clarrie, Kendra, Xueni and Xiuyi

Thanks for remembering! :D

All the church ppl in nus came alllll the way to Arts canteen to celebrate my bday with a cheesecake and a mini bday banner. haha. I was super touched and all my friend said that you guys are sweetest man! (: I wish I can sms all u guys thank you for the card!

Special kudos to Sab and Lionel (:

The lovely card was so sweet man, I was really really touched by the card.

For Polly, Alex and Ben Wing coming down alll the way to my school to find me and wanted to celebrate my bday. Sorry din go out with you guys, but I really appreciate the love and efforts that you guys came all the way down. (: and climbing all the stairs just to find me. hahaha! NUS rocks okay!

For Raymond pink colour umbrella. hahahahaha. thanks friend. It was the thought that counts. really. I was shocked that you knew my bday and shared with tzeyin they all for another gift.

For Endi for knowing my birthday last min and gave me a treat and even though I din drink, thank you, it was very sweet of u.

For Emmy, Tty, Gongx and Ahma for spending time with me @Timbre. Camwhoring at Singapore River and sitting by the river, singing emo songs in the 1990s. like backstreet boys. LOL. Thanks for the gift man! I really love it. I did not exchange it because all your love and hardwork cannot be exchanged!! haha..awww..

For the Cat high guys, for calling me again and again just to wish me happy bday. I just feel so happening and happy having conference with u guys! You guys are the funniest and the most pure people. There were Aaron, Tony, Wey Hwang, Pin Yew, Gerard. Everyone stop bullying Tony!! haha.

For Alvina, for msging me there is urgent cuddle to be done at 11.22pm. I really thought sth serious and bad news!! I do not know who was in the cuddle, but thank you if you called in (:

The next day watched the blind side with Xiany and Cia. It was impactful sia! (: I wanna be like the mother! We tried this japanese food store at city hall. It was yummy and listening to Cia's life is exciting! Hahahaha!

Later, had dinner with Dom and Lynette and Jamie and Colin and all the Jan bday guys! Thank you Dom and Lynette for treating for our bday (: I will never forget eating the Charsiew Ramen in Shio soup with Dom and Lynette talking about toilet stories. hahahhaha!

Thanks for everyone who was in the steamboat @ Cherie's house who celebrated my bday with a chicken essence! HAHA. I love chilling out with the people with wii.. All the unglam videos I gonna upload soon! haha!

Then comes the weekend when my CU bluffed me to extra do stock check and after that surprised me with cake and card. I love the card done by Beryl Hong, as you can see I love reading cards. Haha. It is just very sweet when someone appreciate you for something you have done in their lives. Haha. (:

Lastly, the busy me have time with Yiting and Joycelyn ((: I love you girls. The best bday present wasn't the ear piece but seeing you 2 back on fire radical for God, seeing a passion in your eyes again. Seeing the love of God through you guys. That was the best because I have been praying for you guys. (:

Above all else, thank you God.

Jamie preached an awesome bible study to be more Christ-like is to have MORE love, MORE faith and MORE hope.

I maybe 21, but I tell myself I am not going to be cynical, I am not going to lose faith.

I am going to love even more and this is the best years of my life and this is what I am going to run with.

Now you know why I say I am so loved and love my life.

And why love don't have to be complicated.

But, it is the most simple joy in my life. (:

2010-01-28T05:41:00.000-08:00

Courage is a hard thing to figure. You can have courage based on a dumb idea or a mistake, but you’re not supposed to question adults, or your coach, or your teacher because they make the rules. Maybe they know best but maybe they don’t. It all depends on who you are, where you come from. Didn’t at least one of the six hundred guys think about giving up and joining with the other side? I mean, Valley of Death, that’s pretty salty stuff. That’s why courage is tricky. Should you always do what others tell you to do? Sometimes you might not even know why you’re doing something. I mean, any fool can have courage. But honor, that’s the real reason you either do something or you don’t. It’s who you want to be. If you die trying for something important then you have both honor and courage and that’s pretty good. I think that’s what the writer was saying; that you should try for courage and hope for honor. And maybe even pray that the people telling you what to do have some, too.

The Blind Side (Michael Oher)

2010-01-26T19:48:00.000-08:00

haha.. so many things to to update but my macbook crashed. ):
Update my 21st bday again.
Thanks everyone for making it special. (:
Loves everyone.

2010-01-21T20:34:00.001-08:00

Love is simple. It does not have to be complicated.

I love my life. (:

2010-01-19T01:28:00.000-08:00

Each time, I looked at the Cross,

I told myself no matter what I cannot walk away.

I thought of how I used to be in the past,

I am ashamed and I know I can no longer look back.

I have burnt all my bridges.

People call it foolishness.

Yea, I do not deny.

There were so many costs to pay and sometimes no ambition to hold onto to the sacrifice.

Looking back the 21 years of my life, I would say this is really the best years of my life and I never regret.

I feel so privileged.

Thank You, God.

One friend told me that 21st birthday need to be planned properly

because it showed how you are going to approach adulthood.

It makes me ponder that hey perhaps I want to have a big birthday celebration.

However, I know this is not what I want to.

Because big birthday celebration does not make you happy,

it is knowing yourself, what you want, and what you are able to achieve.

It is being secure of yourself.

And I know I am secure of myself and my destiny in God.

Thanks Weiling for the enlightenment: it all goes back to the Cross.

2010-01-14T09:28:00.000-08:00

By having the courage to be yourself, u put something wonderful in the world that was not there before. (Sun)

2010-01-14T09:21:00.000-08:00

Loving people, it got to leave space for being hurt. (Cherie)

Do you really love today?

2010-01-01T10:44:00.000-08:00

They ask me for new year resolutions.

There are 2 things that came to my mind.

1) Train up leaders!

It has always been an area of leadership I am struggling and I want to breakthrough. I have the best people in my team. It may be small but it is a powerful team. 5 people can change the world. I believe. No doubts.

It is better to be a king-maker than to be king.

Now, I am tasting the statement.

2) Trust God!

When you do not see his Hand, trust His heart.

Definitely, I need more and more.

Esp when you are 21 and walking into the best years of your life, your life is no longer as well-defined as before. The more you got to trust God to walk into the destiny of your life.

Haha. Clarrie has 3D and I have 2T. ;p!

2009-12-31T11:22:00.000-08:00

3.22am. Sitting in front of my laptop blogging about life with a cup of milo.

How I wish I am with Cherie and the rest of them having supper instead of going home so early after countdown.

2009 has been a year of being intellectual-driven.

2009 has been a year of tears.

There were so many times I wish you were back with me.

Now, meeting with new friends.

Accepting life easier, I can tell the world

I really love my life.

No fakeness. (:

I really love my life.

my church.

the activities I do every day.

Calling my people, going shopping with them.

Counting down then going cycling.

Administrating. Training up the next batch of administrators.

Life has been really good and I really enjoy every moment of my life.

I cannot wait to hang out with Wendy Lee soon!

The old people clique. Haha.

2009-12-19T09:44:00.000-08:00

Talking to people has always been really interesting.

One of the favourite topic is what guy do you go for Jerlyn?

I figure out my ans today.

He must be like my grandma!

She makes milo/cereal/bird nest/chicken essence for me at 6am in the morning everyday.

She always say I am very pretty even though I may have the biggest pimples on my face.

She always say I am smart even though I feel insecure and think I am never good enough.

She always say she wants to go on vacation with me because I felt lousy that I never had a family vacation.

She always say she will buy me a car if I want to learn driving.

She always love me when I don't deserve it.

Typing all these makes me wanna laugh and cry.

Cuz I don't think any guy will be able to do that.

I am a feminist. lol.

2009-12-12T21:42:00.000-08:00

Reporter: Whom would he consider a great leader?

Jim Kouzes: One whose feet are solidly planted on the ground, with his head in the clouds dreaming of possibilities.

Idealism burns.

2009-12-07T22:07:00.001-08:00

Pst Brian Houston says “Give time to the LITTLE things that makes a big difference, not the SMALL things that just consume you”

2009-11-30T16:17:00.000-08:00

Last paper today! (:

Honestly, I will miss school because I miss all the chionging periods with my friends.

Sometimes, friends makes the world a better place.

On the other side of the balance, there is still my CG filled with people like Clarrie and Walter Ng. I love hanging out with them too. Cuz you will know what breakthrough means and that they are not small-minded people.

I realise subconsciously I have grown so much.

I used to be very affected by people's small comment and took it to heart seriously.

But now, I am not bothered and told myself I cannot be so small-minded anymore.

I love this feeling! (:

Pastor preached about loving subjectively and loving objectively during Men Conf.

(And a real man was sharing with me the sermon and not that I disguise myself alright! :p)

Sometimes, when we love people we have to have subjectively, loving the person, do all the sweetest and craziest thing for the person, treating the person w respect.

Yet, at the same time, we must love people objectively because you cannot also love the flaws of the people and want to replicate them too.

Because at the end of the day,

we are all humans if we do not love objectively,

we will be solely disappointed.

2009-11-29T07:54:00.000-08:00

thank You God for the passion, for the idealism of Pastors.

People can mock at us, people may leave us.

But the idealism always stays.

I feel that sometimes not doing something in life doesnt mean you are not growing. (:

I feel stretched.

I am ready for breakthrough.

2009-11-19T02:06:00.001-08:00

Once we have faith, it will be tested. Unproven faith is no faith at all. We need no faith for what we can see and what we can do. We need faith for what we cannot see; we need faith for what we cannot do. Doubt is part of the process of faith. When we encounter doubts, we have reached the boundaries of our faith. We lay hold of the promises of God, and faith grows.

2009-11-13T19:31:00.001-08:00

My God knows me through and through

even though I may not understand Him through and through.

The momentum that was going on has been good,

but so as the spiritual momentum must be able to not just catch up but also be ahead of the momentum.

I am irritated that I broke the momentum on Friday 13. -.-

I hate the feeling of desperately hoping the best.

I love the feeling of having faith and knowing I have conquered it.

Let it so be what it is supposed to be.

2009-11-11T06:34:00.000-08:00

Got this from Kendra's phone. Love this pic. (:

Zone F worshipped in main audi ytd during leader's meeting.

It was a sweet and pure worship.

When I look at them, I think youths/adults are damn childish.

We are too consumed with our problems and small-mindedness all the time

that we have forgotten the sweetness and pureness of life.

Child-like faith vs childishness.

Sometimes we just got to understand that we do not have to go through pain and suffering just to know what love is,what life is.

You don't understand? Then, you are already complicated.

Life is simple and that is what makes it sweet and pure.

Complicated people will never be understand this principle in life.

2009-10-28T07:12:00.009-07:00

As we grow older, we do not grow to be more logical.

We just grow to be more cynical.

Why? This is because 14 years old can plan, think and execute.

It doesn't mean they are of lesser logic than your 24, 34, 44, 54, 64, 74, 84 etc.

2009-10-28T07:12:00.008-07:00

As we grow older, we do not grow to be more logical.

We just grow to be more cynical.

Why? This is because 14 years old can plan, think and execute.

It doesn't mean they are of lesser logic than your 24, 34, 44, 54, 64, 74, 84 etc.

2009-10-21T20:59:00.000-07:00

1 more month to final papers.

Action speak louder than words.

I think this semester has been surreal.

Always have Joycelyn to help me get through.

She is a great friend that keeps me motivated yo!

Seeing her getting more and more radical for God is a sweet sight!

Keep the momentum going on.

2009-10-12T07:22:00.000-07:00

My mom snapped at me saying, "If your life is not so good, with me cleaning the house for you, washing and ensuring your daily meals, do you think you are so free to do all your nonsense in church..."

To think that my mom actually still made such a comment when I am 20 years old. -.-

To be honest, this question made me think.

If I am too busy with the making ends meet to pay off my school fees and have to clean the house etc, I would probably be too shagged out to even serve God.

Would I still serve God?

and I know in my heart it says yes but I will have to grow bigger in my capacity.

Once I made the decision, I know I am too small right now.

There are many territories I have yet to conquer.

So people, let's be bigger and be thankful of your circumstances.

I feel right now serving God and doing well in exams can coexist,

it just depends how big you are.

Yesterday meeting with Cherie was good because

one point it struck me

the people under us are fighter planes ready to be released into their destiny

and what the leaders are doing are just building them spiritually and ready to be used by God.

Once you have that revelation, you will not hold on to your people

because you want to hold on to your title.

Once you understand that revelation, you are secure of your future.

And you will not be grumbling inside your head that I am really crazy to waste my time doing all this when I can do much better in life.

It is going to be powerful.

D10 is going to be powerful.

Imagine everyone who is 16, 17.

To be discipled, to take discipleship and to grow from it.

Remember always discipleship is not how bad you are but how much greater you can become.

By the time everyone reaches their prime of their lives of 20 years,

they are not trying to figure the mess in their lives while trying to grow and figure out their lives in their 20

To be honest, this is the best time to try everything in life because you probably have more freedom by then.

This is the time you can try here and there and see if things work out for you.

BUT, it is so powerful we do not have to try outs in life and clean the mess, be it emotional or not.

It is so powerful because everyone in their prime of their lives know their purposes, know their destinies, going to conquer, going to be successful.

They will no longer waste their lives trying out and cleaning up mess.

But because they are discipled, they are ready to be released to be successful to do so.

It is powerful because it is not going to be one person.

It is going to be a CG. It is going to be a zone. It is going to be an army.

This vision captivates me. What captivates you today?

2009-10-03T09:52:00.000-07:00

Saw this from yonghui's and ivan's tweets.

Atheism is not the absence of religion but the deification of self. We all believe in sth, 'doubt' included. Who do u believe in?

Somehow when I love, my mind breaks free, I feel limitless & I feel possibility. Everything is possible with God, who is Love.

I know you still do read my blog.

On my way home today after all the craze,

I just thought to myself what will i be without hoGc?

2009-10-01T10:07:00.000-07:00

I wanna eat my choco hello panda as it makes me happy. (:

Today is the day I learnt so much.

I think it is sad that when you already 20 years old and yet you cannot decide your life.

That your life is always being determined what the society says and influences.

For instance, it is sad that you are 20 years old and you get into a relationship because all your friends are having one when you know that the person is not the right one.

Another instance, you see how attractive for people to stay in hall, their lives is exciting but you know that it is not exactly for you because you are not really interested but you are just attracted.

It is so sad that when you are already 20 years old, and yet what your parents and friends say can decide your life.

This is the best years of your life.

I am so thankful that I am free to decide my path, my youth.

That my path is not decided by my mom or my friends.

I feel liberated that I do not have to make decisions because of what others are making or rather I am affected by the decisions of what others are making.

Because as I am reading my socio notes

I realise everything is imaginary

the cool image of being busy with uni activities and being in relationship

is all the works of post-modernism.

This is where they make you feel achieve the state of nirvana by following the capitalistic society, by desiring things beyond what you need.

Once you achieve it, you became disappointed because even you have the materialistic goods/relationship, you did not achieve the exact same feeling that was suppose to come with the goal.

And when expectations are not met, there are disappointments and hurts.

This explains so much fragmentation in society today

This explains so much broken dreams in the world.

This is because during the best years of our lives, we desire all that that we do not really want ourselves.

And when you realise the best years of your life is gone, some things in life will never be able to retrieve it back.

My mind is clear and I do not feel I was brainwashed.

Because ideologies can easily changed and switched.

There is always the rise and fall of ideologies.

However, when I see lives, real simple people living their lives,

showing that the nirvana state we so long for can be achieved.

I know that this is for real.

This is real stuff.

You know in econs we learn such stuff as real money and near money.

How near money is actually a good substitute of real money

and it confuses people that it actually distorts the entire monetary policy

and the economic mechanism which triggers the recession.

This is the same in our lives right now:

we need to be able to differentiate real and near money of our lives.

2009-09-30T09:03:00.001-07:00

I am in awe of my pastors and leaders.

I really do.

You should see how hard they work. (:

Love living. Live loving.

2009-09-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

Idealism.

I am so thankful.

For once when I am looking at my friend's photos on facebook,

I am no longer envious.

For once I stood back and look,

I am no longer jealous.

Because I know while it is fun

to have boyfriend, to hang out, to club, to go dinner and dance,

to be active in hall, to be in planning committee for camp, to go on holiday,

to be in a cool sports cca, to do well in school

But none of it will satisfy my heart

because I have done it all and seen it all.

In fact, I am excited about building up something to create the future.

All the photos I realise they are meant to create memories

but I am no longer interested to be a momento.

I want to be part of a movement.

An idealistic movement.

It thrills me that I am shaking, moving the world.

2009-09-20T23:11:00.000-07:00

J.R.R Tolkien and C.S Lewis

One is a Catholic and the other backslided during his youth and became a protestant when he became 30.

One only became a protestant because one hang out often Tolkien who has strong religious influence since young.

One inspired the other to write The Chronicles of Narnia and the other inspired the other one to write Lord of the Rings.

Both became the greatest literary texts after 40 years.

More than the literary world, the books went on to penetrate the culture industry,into our movies.

It blows me away. Even their life stories blow me away.

2009-09-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

Again, Sun has proven the world,

Dreams can come to past if you are willing to work hard

and you know what is the dream you are running for.

I love the message she sent out

Pursue your dreams, make mistakes along the way, have fun!

Too many times in the name of hating mediocrity,

we began to hate ourselves as we dream.

There are so many things which I really wish to undo.

But the fact that I cannot change time, change the past.

I love the message because it is not just some loose Hollywood message: just have fun and let's rebel the world.

There is a twist to it and it is called Dreams.

I want to dream even more carefully for the next 10 years of my life.

2009-09-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

From the ends of the Earth to the depth of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen

Love this part of lyrics.

This my cry o Lord.

((:

2009-09-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

Can't help to say this

but I truly love God and love church!

This is truly a place where love and dreams exist.

Everyone just help out for one another.

Everyone just cover up for one another.

I know it is not glory nor manipulation.

It is just enjoyable to usher today. (:

It is pretty strange how I ended up in hoGC.

A pretty couple of broken links with people

people who strangely I was not close to

and even the person who bought the person are not top-notch close

and strangely fate intertwined and

led me to heart of God church.

Honestly, what would my life be

if I never come church?

Dreams do really come to past.

I used to dream that

1) my family stop all their petty quarrels that affected me emotionally and that I have a loving complete family who understands me

2) I become a team leader

3) not many people knows but I used to dream to become a section leader.

Now, I am living in my dream that I used to dream.

It is so so so surreal.

Now, I dream even more.

1) To lead 50 people with Cherie before age 21

2) That my grandma will know the love of God by next year hungry ghost fest

3) To attend bible school after graduation from nus

4) To give $10 000 for building fund by the age of 30

2009-09-01T04:17:00.001-07:00

Honestly, I really cannot wait to attend bible school.

There is so much of God that I want to know. (:

CCherie: grab somemore faith(: put off the old-jeremiah that's in you. Run after the anointing of God, not the works of God first. Put on a new man that discovers more possibilities, a bigger future, a better one.

Keep talking to God, and whilst you're listening to Him, drop every other thought and concern, doubt or debate, then you can hear sharply lur..

what's stopping you?

I figure out by blogging I will remember it. HAHA!

I am so scared I forget it.

Cliche yea perhaps but there is substance in cliche things.

It is whether you find them or not.

To be honest, at the end of the day God cannot stop you.

The decision lies in you.

We are all very confused people on Earth.

2009-08-30T10:26:00.000-07:00

10th Anniversary in HOGC. (:

If you think it is one of the many emotional events,

an event to manipulate your emotions,

you are so wrong.

I did not cry throughout the service.

It was the last part when Jackson, Elaine and Jeremy shared

about how Pastor How and Pastor Lia sowed into their lives

that really made me tear.

Maybe it is because I can identify what it means to come from dysfunctional family.

Revelations I had from the anniversary sermon:

1) You do not need a logical mind to love people. All it takes is the heart

2) Even when you do not believe in God anymore, God still believes in you.

The second line impacted me the most.

How would you feel if you know that you no longer believe in the person, but the person still believes in you?

2009-08-27T07:36:00.000-07:00

It just hurt when you decide to walk away.

It just hurt because you decide to search for greener pastures.

It just hurt because we are only friends through the bad times

and when you are in good times, you don't even bother to meet us up.

And no, that is not an emo post.

I guess that everyone face that in their lives once, maybe more than once

I am so thankful that I do not have friends like that.

((:

Just had a revelation as I was studying NM2219.

You know the public relations we know today is actually propaganda

because we need to revamp the -ve name of propaganda.

You know the truth that we are slaves to media because there is no source of truth/fact you can compare although yes all the theories we study is like a guiding compass but the very theories

we studying came up by the very man who revamp the word propaganda.

-.-

Because we are slaves to media, we want to fight for freedom, to break away from media.

so we shift instead of being slaves to media, we became slaves for the greater truth in life

the ultimate of enlightenment-religion.

Suddenly, it just dawned to us we live a greater purposeful life.

We desire a life outside the capitalism world.

Then after being slaves to religion, we realise we are actually slaves.

That is the power of religion. You fail to realise you are a slave.

There are probably many times thoughts ringing in your head

such as God is making use of you to do things, He make you scared eg if you do not believe in Him you go hell that fear.

Fear that has been manipulated.

To break that fear away, you want liberation from your emotions, liberation from manipulation

You decide to be the slave of the greatest enlightment-science.

You decide to reason out everything based on observation.

It is just as simple, what you see is what you get.

That is the cry of post-modernism.

My Physics Teacher said;

Science has always being based on observation.

All the laws were derived from observation and is subject to debate.

(unless people are just kok-eyed, haha. just kidding!)

At the end of the day, you know even as you try to run away and escape and fill up things in your heart, you are still a slave and it depends who is in control of you that all

There is no such thing as absolute freedom because the only freedom that exists is vacumn.

Vacumn is the only unique thing that is free from all forces of life, be it your 'science' forces such as friction or 'society' forces such as influence by the media, religion or science.

Do you want to be a vacumn in exchange for freedom today?

I hope this post makes you think just like it had to me. (:

2009-08-20T09:31:00.000-07:00

Love has no doubts.

When we are young and clueless,

we say we will do life together.

Inside our hearts, we search the world

for the intangible to be tangible.

Young and clueless

and you have no idea what is ahead

what you want to do

but you know your heart desires

'Go' lusted after your heart

Life got to be more than all this we say

Truth, Beauty & Freedom

The deviance from the mass culture

The result of Bohemisation

The constant search for all three

is the cry of when we are young and clueless

Naive is the word parents describe

and the word we hate.

But, no one can deny that we are really naive.

Since naive is a word created by those who are in power.

When we grow old and gain worldly wisdom

we say everything is a bait.

Every situation has 2 facets

and neither of them is wrong or right.

There are too much broken dreams

too much false hope

all because we were once young and clueless.

But, that is because we once dare to dream, we dare to hope

Where are you o Hope?

Where are you o Idealism?

2009-08-20T02:00:00.000-07:00

i miss 'home'.

2009-08-18T22:14:00.000-07:00

James 2:17-18 (New King James Version)

17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your[a] works, and I will show you my faith by my[b] works.

Faith is not a feeling but faith is an action.
Faith is when you have a bad day and yet you say you can conquer your day.
Faith is when your neighbour doing better than you in life yet you still believe in God’s promises in your life.
Faith is not determined by your circumstances but you determine your faith in circumstances.
Faith is when things are not happening now but you are going to make it happen in the future.
Faith is when people try to pull you down, but you pull yourself up.
Faith is not because Pastors and leaders have to keep pumping faith in your life, but because you CHOOSE to have faith.
Faith is not passive, but faith is active.
Faith is not out of reach, but it is already in your hand and whether you want to utilize it.
Faith, to some, is a gift yet to received, but to most of us here faith is the substance of things hope for, the evidence of things not seen.
Faith is never about your neighbours, faith is all about YOU!

Love,
Jerlyn

2009-08-09T11:50:00.000-07:00

D10 hit 28 this weekend!! ((:

I still remember it was exactly one year ago

when D10 has only 10 people.

Cherie, Tracy, Jerlyn, Fiona, Jade, Daniel, Xueni, Pollyna, Felise, Darren.

This was exactly how we started out.

I am so glad that one year later

we grew to 28.

Initially, when I saw we could have hit 30.

I just teared because I know God has been faithful.

Throughout all the ups and downs, He is the one who proved Himself to be the most faithful.

I am so glad that most of the people who first started out with the CG still stayed on to continue fighting this race.

Although we hit 28 instead of 30,

I feel so satisfied!

Cuz I truly feel it is more than the number.

The quality of the CG is there

because the leadership has went to another whole new level.

Alvina, Pollyna, Weiling, Wanting and Fiona.

They are the most faithful people.

They are the ones really bringing everything to 2.0.

They are even better than me.

They have amazing chemistry and teamwork. ((:

Most importantly, THEY ARE WILLING TO BE DISCIPLED!

I know 30 and 40 is going to be easy

because all the leaders broke through.

Not the numbers, it is the quality.

I am really changing lives.

I am really changing the world.

I feel so privileged to walk though the alley.

I feel so privileged to be under Cherie to witness to breakthrough.

Why privileged?

Because there were so many times I was so tempted to walk away.

So many times I wanted to walk away and did not perservere to see the promise land.

A random sidetrack is that NDP this year is really cool!

Say what you mean.

Mean what you mean.

Kowtows to the chairman committee of this year NDP

(btw, he's from my church. haha!)

I need to shape up.

I need to reach Pastor's thinking.

Pastor's sermon really challenge me this season :D!

2009-07-30T09:57:00.000-07:00

I was just talking to a uni person

and we talk about having a company with no politics.

He laughed and said it is close to impossible

in fact, it is communist.

My heart just cries out, "Why not?"

It pays to be idealistic.

A greal deal.

But why not?

2009-07-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

Feel that I did not achieve much during the 3 month break.
Mainly because I did not write down a goal
or simply I rubbished my goal.
That is why it is important setting and planning goal.
So that is why before school starts,
I am going to make goals (:

In conclusion, did I waste my time during the holiday?
I asked God and God answered,
"The difference between good and great!"
Good people prepare their things once
when things seem exciting
when they are scared.
Great people continue preparing for the same thing.
Same sermon. Same worship song. Same routines.
That lies the slight difference of good and great!
You do not realise it but there is substance.
It does not matter people's opinion anymore. (:

2009-07-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

Got to build up my substance now!

The best time of our youths is to be used to build up on our substances.

But, it is tedious and the 90% hardwork.

while most of my friends probably earning at least 1k, have a car, learning to drive,flying around the world.

I am learning to drive and fly my spiritual manual airplane!

Set the foundations and I am ready to fly!

2009-07-13T22:06:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

Just have a revelation of being satisfied vs being happy.

Many people are satisfied with our lives,

honestly we have a good government, safe country,

3 meals a day, good job & edu sys (which is to be debatable)

But, many would agree our lives are really good, isnt it?

The irony is that while we are satisfied, we are not happy.

We often complain how terrible and stressful our lives are.

We often emo about our lives on our blogs.

We often emo how people treat us harshly

We often emo about the decisions we have to make

and the consequences we have to face.

We often feel insignificant in the big world we live in.

However, I can tell you I am happy but not satisfied.

I love my life as it is.

I am happy as I was reminded of God's faithfulness.

But, I am not satisfied.

I want more and more.

Greater dreams have yet to come.

The greatest church have yet to be built.

God, give me this generation!

2009-07-04T10:48:00.000-07:00

I just feel there should be no time waste being frustrated/emo/feeling...

I feel that life is too precious to be caught in this puberty/teenage crisis/quarter life crisis/mid life crisis/old age crisis

Why must we always use our minds to justify our negative seasons in our lives?

Why we often fail to see we can choose how we feel?

The same theory that love is a decision

is the same theory being happy is a decision.

I finally understood why people who have less are much happier because

they are "forced" to see the good side in ALL circumstances.

People think you are naive and stupid

(that is why you can be happy all the time)

but the reality is that no matter what life you choose

life is often fragile and fraught with unhappy incidents.

The decisions lies in your hand to be happy, to remain idealistic.

To trust, to love.

2009-07-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.
How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Try this quiz! http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

2009-06-28T23:13:00.000-07:00

I have not feel so happy and liberated for the longest time.

Thank You (: and sorry if I am selfish.

2009-06-16T22:55:00.000-07:00

I was packing my room and I stumbled a note that my p6 tuition teacher gave me.

And it says(said) there;

"As you decide to change your ambition,

just keep in mind that life is about loving others.

What makes us a good human is not our ability to think but our ability to love.

Any job you want to strive for in the future is good as long as you are happy."

The moral of the story: God really speak to you when you packed your room. So people out there pls pack your room! Haha!

2009-06-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

Seconds hours so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment lasts forever
When you feel you've lost your way
What if my chances were already gone
I started believing that I could be wrong
But you gave me one good reason
To fight and never walk away
So here I am still holding on

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
Just when you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up all your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

I fought to the limit you stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets
Don't know where the future's headed
Nothing's gonna bring me down
Jumped every bridge I've run every line
I risk being safe, I always knew why
I always knew why
So here I am still holding on

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
Just when you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up all your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
Break every rule cause there's nothing between you and your dreams

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
Just when you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up all your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries
No boundaries
Yeah, there are no boundaries

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nvCwvX57a8&NR=1

Great Song. Funny to say it ministered to me although it is not a church song.

The world needs more of these lyrics instead of the emo one man!!

2009-06-12T11:32:00.000-07:00

I always believe in the power of prayer.

I have faith that every prayer I prayed it goes to God.

Prayer does not mean that you are praying desperately.

Prayer means that You and I pray in faith.

Prayer means that I engage with You when I speak.

Isnt it cool that my God actually pray with me?

Prayer is aggressive.

Prayer is on the attack and not defence (Defence is when you are praying desperately!).

I am loving prayer man!

2009-06-11T12:08:00.000-07:00

All I can say;

I was so glad that I ushered today in Zone F revival night!

It was powerful because I got prayed for!

And it was super accurate.

Everyone ought to go for it!

Haha. :D :D

2009-06-02T09:07:00.000-07:00

Watched the movie Angels and Demon yesterday.

Was most impacted by this script.

Camerlegno: Before I allow you to enter the archives, I need you to honestly answer me this question

Langdon: What is it?

Camerlegno: Do you believe in God?

Langdon: Well..I am academic and I study all religions.

Camerlegno: Nope, you are not answering my question, not what Man says about God, but if you believe in God?

Langdon: Well, faith is a gift I have yet to receive.

Sometimes, it is not the people.

Not the circumstances.

Not what people can say about God.

Not even the culture.

Not even the CG.

It is all about YOU.

I keep asking God what is this season that You want me to go thru' this season.

Brokenness.

2009-05-29T10:08:00.000-07:00

Loving people is simple.

It is not a matter of who is wrong or who is correct.

The world(including Christians) sometimes can be so overly righteous that it becomes judgemental.

Even in the bible it says,

Do not be overly righteous, nor be overly wise

Why should you destroy yourself?

Ecclesiastes 7:16

If I have anything to say through this message.

It is sometimes not about who is right or wrong.

Or if God is fair or not.

It is simply will I love this person or not.

Love is a decision.

It is not based on moral values.

Not based on education.

But it is a decision.

Make your decision today.

2009-05-27T08:22:00.000-07:00

Alvina: If you backslide, I will slap you.

Me: If you backslide, I will slap you too.

I seriously never talk to my leader that way, Alvina Ho!!

Haha.

Nevetheless, so proud of D10 now!

I am so excited.

I already seeing it in my spirit.

Cassandra, Nicole and Audrey and Jade will be leading worship one day during CG.

Pollyna and Felise will be playing guitar.

and our CG will NOT go off key anymore

AMEN! HAHA.

Wanting will be the next Chief Usher!

Weiling going to lead prayer session!

(She is like a prayer warrior now)

Alvina our next generation of Love Foundation

(She is always loving people and thinking others before her)

Kendra will be able to share her testimony to inspire more people

She is a survivor man!

Xueni is going to be our next artist!!

(She can really paint the town red!)

Ben Wing will be a gentleman! HAHAHA

Darren got even more stories to share.

(His stories never end seriously. Haha!)

Flavian going to be our next bassist!

Anyway, spent some time with grandma and mom today.

I feel so loved every single day.

Thank God!

Honestly, I do not understand why I hated this family in the past.

It just felt so sweet and I just want to treasure it.

When you carry that vision inside of you long enough, you'll find that the vision starts carrying you. (:

This is what Pastor shared and how true!

Everything I wanted in the past. A family. Love. Friends. Changing lives.

All that I dreamt of yesterday. I have it today.

And I have no doubt what I dream today will be what I will be in the future!

2009-05-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

I am just humbled by God.

If there is anyone who say that they do not believe God exists,

I believe them because I was like that.

I remembered vividly that in 2006 I did not wish to attend church any longer because what is the point if God does not exist.

There may be many different circumstances that caused you not to believe so.

No encounters with God. Intellectual pride. Family situations. Giving up of the world.

But all these circumstances just prove that we are limited.

Have you come to the point you really 100% stretched?

100% used up to your limit?

I had. I have.

I realise today it is no longer about me.

It is no longer about me getting things done.

Trust me, when I say to get things done alone is 100 times easier to get people to do for you.

But, sometimes, it is not about getting the job done.

It is others.

It is you trust others.

It is you love others.

It is you believe in others.

Everyone loved to be believed in.

Why I am humbled?

Because I cannot do this alone.

I can learn everything about life.

I can know everything about life.

I can even break down for you why people do not believe in God logically.

If you are someone who seeks perfection,

you will know what I mean when I meant to feel this

never good enough feeling

always this limitation.

this constraint.

This is when God comes in

and teams are built.

2009-04-30T01:23:00.000-07:00

After reading leaders' blog like Dominic/Ivan/Nadine/Jamie etc etc

I realise every leaders have their individualistic style of blogging

but the flow is still the same.

The flow of God.

I am inspired by my leaders.

I have decided to post a long post one day.

But I need to construct my argument.

Yes, I am an argumentative person.

Once I fixed my stand on something, I will not change.

Don't believe, ask Weiling and Heemie about it.

LOL.

We had a really funny time doing projects together.

Nothing can escape You, You have seen it all.

2009-04-29T08:56:00.000-07:00

I am back hungrier.

Hungry for annointing.

Hungry for spiritual breakthrough.

Hungry for the Word of God.

Because I decide I want to be hungry and not miss out the blessings of the Lord.

Yes, I have my emotions.

Yes, I have my thoughts.

But I hate it when I am being socialised in thinking it is impossible.

I am going to break this wall down!

(: (: (:

2009-04-28T08:17:00.001-07:00

Recently, so many thing have happened.

Like for instance my mom asked me how come you know God is real?

and she asked me to pray for my grandmother just now.

(because my grandmother is having super terrible spine pain.)

Now, my grandmother sleeping like a baby. (:

I believe the presence of God will come to my grandma and my mom

and one day they will be able to encounter God as I have.

Meanwhile, please pray that my grandmother will get healed in the name of Jesus!

Love God, Love People, Love life.

2009-04-26T09:08:00.001-07:00

I just read the book of Jonah.

It is a great book!

Go read it! (:

2009-04-22T07:26:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday Pastor Lia! (:

I love my pastors! Do you?

2009-04-19T23:23:00.001-07:00

There is a difference between knowing and believing.

There is a difference knowing you will do well in you exams and believing you will do well in exams.

Knowing means you understand the questions/theories/keynesian/monetarism/marxist economists/capitalism inside out.

Believing means you feel that they are real but they may not be real and beliefs can be subjective.

The same concept applies to God.

Do you believe or know God today?

2009-04-14T23:04:00.001-07:00

It is so strange that people are championing freedom at the expense of ethnicity discrimination.

Demo-crazy Vs Democracy.

It is always cool to have a stand/convictions.

But what's the real deal in this upside down world.

I so love current affairs, Milton Friedman, all the economic policies.

Counselling does not work but love does.

2009-04-14T10:37:00.000-07:00

I am so irritated. I am so frustrated.

I am ready for breakthroughs.

2009-04-12T04:58:00.000-07:00

Hello world, I have changed my blogskin.

And with regards to my previous post,

No, I am not emo.

I loving what I am doing now. (:

But above everything, be still and know God is always God.

I love this skin, it reflects me better than the previous. (:

2009-04-11T23:05:00.001-07:00

People think, people feel

emotions run, emotions rage

but be still and know I am God.

Still - Hillsong

2009-03-29T23:46:00.000-07:00

I realise as I am doing my research on a super lame project

titled National Stadium Vs Sports Hub

I cannot help but say this:

I actually love doing projects(even though it is a lame one)!

But I feel it is an intellectual and not your low level discussion (:

Also, I realise it does not matter what you say in newpapers/books,

because someone be it in the media or academics will and can so easily twisted a neutral phrase to support their stands.

Point of story: Do not believe whatever you read, it got to come with your own convictions and a personal relationship with the person (:

A point of note: what would happen if I had went to SMU economics instead? Hmm..good question!

2009-03-27T10:57:00.001-07:00

Hey world! Just want to say whoever miss D10 CG just now

you really miss out great things sia!

This CG is really going to be amazing!

(: I cannot wait for breakthrus!

I cannot wait to see MORE MORE MORE Darrens and Alvinas lives getting changed

MORE MORE MORE

I still remember 6 months ago

there was only Cherie, Fiona and I for CG!

Cannot believe it right!?

Haha!

God is really great and faithful! (:

Changing lives is really addictive!

2009-03-22T19:34:00.000-07:00

My mind is faster than my heart right now.

If I really want these bad enough in my life,

I should go for it all the way.

There should be no holding back.

NOT EVEN SLP! Haha!

Like what Pastor Sy says,

being 20 is such a definitive age.

Whatever decisions you make in this generation will affect the next generation.

I think many 20 yrs old do not realise that and feel the impact.

But, I feel it man!

I will get my 4.6 in my school, earn money for church, be a pastoral leader, seeing my grandma getting saved.

It shall ALL come to past (:

It all goes back to the heart.

2009-03-20T23:39:00.000-07:00

I just cross Sam Foo's blog and just thought of koping from there:

I'm not sworn over by money

nor by power; nor by might

but the greatest of these is love

conquering the impossible quest

greater than it seems

bigger than it is felt

harder to give

longing for one

it is complicated; yet simple

this feeling we all need

let it out, let it out

not trapped within oneself

Letting it travel

On the lights till; a cuppa of

Venti latte finishes

Everyone wants it.

Going church now and I totally enjoyed chalet (:

I really think the planning team did a great job!

2009-03-17T07:09:00.000-07:00

I thank You God for being holy. (:

2009-03-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

The difference between a normal person and a heart of God church family.

Normal person: Why your face like that?

Heart of God church person: Eh I recommend doc to let you see, very effective one. Hows the doc? Issit good? Don't eat this and that.

I love my family! (:

Let keep this culture D10!

2009-03-03T06:29:00.000-08:00

I have been blog-hopping and observing the uni people in my school.

It just dawned to me today that

all the things that used to bother me,

no longer bothers me.

People will think I have no life

but I know deep down in me

this is what I really wanted all my life.

The deep sense of security

and the confidence of ma-luing myself.

I just love who I am,

love my life, love the people I hang out with.

They may be young but I love it because they are young

and I know one day they are ready to change this world I live in.

The funny thing about the older group of people is that we already know

what a great life really means,

we already once tasted the presence of God in our youth

yet we still search for 'practicalities' to fill that emptiness in our hearts.

2009-02-28T04:15:00.000-08:00

Honestly, I dun see the point of being at home grounded
because I only studied one chapter today.
Well Done!

haha.

Back to mugging.

2009-02-23T10:06:00.000-08:00

All the silly things that were on my head.

and I say to the mountains to be removed!

and it shall be done so from now on.

Focus on God alone. (:

It has been a really long time since I last blogged.

Many things have happened.

Sometimes, life really seem mundane.

Sometimes, life outside church seem more exciting.

Like for instance, I wish I can meet up with my JC classmates

on a Sat night.

And I was wondering how badly I wanted to go.

and God showed me how I was last time

how I would go for the outing

but I would not enjoy it

simply because I was too insecure.

and guess what?

I experienced God the most on that Sat sve (:

I know many Christian friends,

but I think what it is here in hoGc,

it is special.

I never feel home than here.

and I know no one can take away

I just want to fall in love with You more and more..

2009-02-02T06:16:00.000-08:00

Every minute wasted on emo-ing

is a minute wasted for prayer.

Every minute wasted when your mind screams you are tired

is a minute wasted for faith.

Every minute wasted on anxiety

is a minute wasted for worship.

Every minute you want to give up

is a minute wasted for bringing someone to experience Jesus.

How much time have you wasted today?

God, I really need You here. (:

2009-01-26T09:30:00.000-08:00

Need to smile during the times everything can go wrong, will go wrong. (:

(The Murphery Law)

I really do not like my extended family.

I definitely love Heart of God church family 10 times more.

Never in my spiritual family I ever find people bragging the little things we do to support the family.

I do not like people keep niam-ing at me,

I'm a person who prefer actions to words.

Sam Teo really set the highest standard I can ever reach.

She had appendicitis and was hospitalised.

The next day she was out and could still ask me how was Cherie.

A few days later, on CNY, she still chasing us to for integration list.

This what it really means to love OTHERS and sacrifice.

She is really (: wow!~

2009-01-19T10:51:00.000-08:00

Thank you for all the well-wishes and everything.

(: for gongz who came all the way to my hse and surprise me

and the message she did on my wall.

(: for emm and ty to call in and wish me happy bday

(: for Pollyna, Tracy, Alvina, Kendra & Gerry! ( I do not know how he was ended there haha!) for calling into my hp and wish me happy bday.

(: for the msn and smses from Huimin, Colin, Sam Teo and Gurvin and many many more I received and couldnt receive.

(: for Alvina's announcement on her msn that it was my bday.

I used to want a perfect birthday.

A birthday where everything is perfect.

But I realise everything that all my lovely friends can do for me,

it will not be a perfect bday without God in it.

Hais. I feel so crap. I am not supporting my leaders

and that I am not flowing with them.

I am not praying hard enough and everything.

Arrgh.

Thats what I felt so crap about today.

2009-01-08T23:04:00.000-08:00

God is really moving.

Are you moving? (:

Cherish the present.

I am going to be 20 real soon.

20 years of life.

Have you thought what/why are you doing?

Aint the world more exciting?

Haha.

nope.

I am very sick of the world actually.(:

2009-01-06T21:22:00.000-08:00

This was where I was during the festive season.

Where were you? (:

btw, the 1st picture, it is my zone only

not my entire church.

cool right?

haha.